573. Debatable Dissociative Dilemma

I’ve been alive for so many years,

And I still have yet to live one day.

In and out. Young and old. Never me.

Never alive,…Not fully.

How to fix it? No one knows.

There are plenty of theories out there:

Ignore it. Isolate. Integrate.

Though perhaps, one simply can’t change fate?

If worsened, we’re told we’re not trying.

If bettered, it does not last one storm.

Here and there. Lost and found. Harmed and cured.

No one has the final word…

While we wait around in clouds of chaos,

Praying to Gods that do not save us…

Looking to men who can’t save themselves,

To know how to reach all of our selves.

K. Aldaya, 2/13/22

Picture: By Vladislav Nahorny on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/87KPQJWcC9c

568. M.E.

Why can’t you acknowledge and accept me?

Not for who you wish I was,

But who I’ve come to be?

Not by choice, and not from spite,…

By providence and necessity.

For I can not escape from myself,

Where I live entirely,…

And where none come to find me.

M.E……..Missing Eternally.

K. Aldaya, 12/8/21

Picture: By Keith Wong; https://unsplash.com/photos/3BqzXdQFJvc

565. Arcane

I waited lifetimes for men to do what is right,

To seek truth, no matter how hard,

And light-up the ageless night,…

In search of each shard,

Of forgotten plight.

Yet, there’s no use in waiting for hope or justice,

When men seek what’s easy, not just,…

And sleep soundly at night, feckless,

As shadows are thrust,

In each orifice.

I waited lifetimes for no more than fantasy;

For when I look into the black,

It gazes back into me,

While those who won’t see,

Endlessly attack,…

And I grin, knowingly.

K. Aldaya, 11/17/21

Picture:

From Sucker Punch; https://gifs.alphacoders.com/gifs/view/181159

2. From Sucker Punch; https://www.fanpop.com/clubs/sucker-punch/images/26330438/title/babydoll-photo/4

561. Estranged

I crossed mountains,

To warn of evil,

And you did not even care;

Then made friends with the devil,

And cast me out.

I crossed oceans,

To deliver you,…

To protect you, and to care;

Then you left and never knew,

I was drowning.

I crossed deserts,

To be by your side,

And quench your soul with hope;

And you rolled on as the tide,…

And left me there.

I crossed highways,

To run away to….

Nowhere in particular.

Desperately,…ran from you,…

And you let me.

K. Aldaya, 9/5/21

Picture: By Simon Berger on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/ET6NrIKz7Ak

560. Untouchable

I place my hands in front of you,

Though you do not see,

And I ask myself,

“Why do I do this to me?”.

I try and cry for sight,

In a world of the blind,

And expect to be seen,…

Out of sight,…out of mind.

I place my hands in front of you,

And you do not even know.

I wished for years to be like you,…

Now I’m just going to go.

K. Aldaya, 8/29/21

Picture: From The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo; https://weheartit.com/entry/328118982