561. Estranged

I crossed mountains,

To warn of evil,

And you did not even care;

Then made friends with the devil,

And cast me out.

I crossed oceans,

To deliver you,…

To protect you, and to care;

Then you left and never knew,

I was drowning.

I crossed deserts,

To be by your side,

And quench your soul with hope;

And you rolled on as the tide,…

And left me there.

I crossed highways,

To run away to….

Nowhere in particular.

Desperately,…ran from you,…

And you let me.

K. Aldaya, 9/5/21

Picture: By Simon Berger on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/ET6NrIKz7Ak

556. I Should Be Afraid

I should be afraid.

“Different” is a gun to the head,

In the hands of others;

With a ransom to be paid,

Or body laid, instead.

I can’t be honest,

To the holstered mobs of false decor.

Anomaly hunters…

Distinctions at their behest,

In their cruel quest, for more.

I should be frightened.

My fate’s to be devoured or loathed.

“Different’s” never “same”.

In this world I’d find no friend,

Once exposed,..and unclothed.

I should be afraid.

“Different” is a gun to the head,

That is out of my hands.

There is no life unafraid,

‘Til I’m laid…as the dead.

K. Aldaya, 8/11/21

Picture: From Stranger Things Season 4 Teaser Trailer; https://news.yahoo.com/5-things-surprised-stranger-things-022429466.html

546. Am I Human?

Am I human?

I can see I look like one,

Though underneath the surface,

I am everyone,

Without a face.

Am I human?

Though I used to speak like one.

I have never understood,

With all our words so over-done,…

How to be heard.

Am I human?

I no longer speak like one,

And inside drift endlessly,

Far from everyone,…

So quietly.

Am I human?

I can see I look like one,

Though underneath the surface,

I am no one.

I am the lost without a trace.

The unrecognizable face.

The outsider, always out of place.

Am I human?

K. Aldaya, 6/10/21

Picture: From Humans TV Series; Posted on fanpop; https://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/38900000/Humanity-It-s-not-a-state-It-s-a-It-s-a-quality-humans-38984644-300-169.gif

508. Condemned

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I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Silently, as I lie in my bed.

There’s no reason to explain why.

No one cares what goes on in my head.

There’s no use crying. There’s no use talking.

I know I’ll suffer until I die.

Everything that I do or don’t,

Is considered my fault or a lie.

I’ll always be the criminal and scum,

While all those who hurt me move along.

They get to live. Be seen as good;

And I scrape by….Always in the wrong.

Tell me what’d I do to deserve this life?

To warrant such hatred and such pain?

I longed to be a good person,

But a bloodied soul just leaves a stain.

No matter where I go, it follows me,

Leaving paths of contempt to my door.

Go ahead and burn my house down.

It has happened countless times before.

I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Ostracized and punished ’til the end.

Why do the monsters get to live,

While I’m forced into darkness,…condemned?

K. Aldaya, 1/15/20

Picture: By: Mxsh on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/T9THJMIIMPM

448. Replicant

trailer_poster_wide

I didn’t want to be someone,

I hardly recognize,

Yet pain, it changes everyone…

In time.

Every day I am further from,

The soul I used to be;

Closer to who I have to be…

To survive.

The tragedy of life is that,

Time changes everyone,

And one day when we look in the mirror we don’t recognize…

Anyone.

So here I am: A replicant,

Of who I used to be.

I want to live, but yet I can’t;

So I live on, not as me,…

But as you.

K. Aldaya, 7/6/18

Replicant

Picture: Alicia Vikander in Ex Machina; http://exmachina-movie.com/