546. Am I Human?

Am I human?

I can see I look like one,

Though underneath the surface,

I am everyone,

Without a face.

Am I human?

Though I used to speak like one.

I have never understood,

With all our words so over-done,…

How to be heard.

Am I human?

I no longer speak like one,

And inside drift endlessly,

Far from everyone,…

So quietly.

Am I human?

I can see I look like one,

Though underneath the surface,

I am no one.

I am the lost without a trace.

The unrecognizable face.

The outsider, always out of place.

Am I human?

K. Aldaya, 6/10/21

Picture: From Humans TV Series; Posted on fanpop; https://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/38900000/Humanity-It-s-not-a-state-It-s-a-It-s-a-quality-humans-38984644-300-169.gif

510. Unhuman

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I am not human.

I am a machine.

You break me when you want to,

Then rebuild me again.

I’m merely an object to you.

I am not human.

I am a machine.

I’m programmed to laugh and smile,

When I do not want to;

Forced compliance through denial.

I am not human.

I am a machine.

That is why you exploit me,

Then reprogram a file,

To try and wipe the memory.

I am not human.

I am a machine.

Metal parts without a soul…

That’s what you think of me;

And that is why I have a hole,

Where a human heart should be.

K. Aldaya, 1/29/20

Picture: By msmichelebaker on makeagif; From Humans; https://makeagif.com/i/WfrIZa

508. Condemned

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I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Silently, as I lie in my bed.

There’s no reason to explain why.

No one cares what goes on in my head.

There’s no use crying. There’s no use talking.

I know I’ll suffer until I die.

Everything that I do or don’t,

Is considered my fault or a lie.

I’ll always be the criminal and scum,

While all those who hurt me move along.

They get to live. Be seen as good;

And I scrape by….Always in the wrong.

Tell me what’d I do to deserve this life?

To warrant such hatred and such pain?

I longed to be a good person,

But a bloodied soul just leaves a stain.

No matter where I go, it follows me,

Leaving paths of contempt to my door.

Go ahead and burn my house down.

It has happened countless times before.

I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Ostracized and punished ’til the end.

Why do the monsters get to live,

While I’m forced into darkness,…condemned?

K. Aldaya, 1/15/20

Picture: By: Mxsh on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/T9THJMIIMPM

501. Be Yourself, Except…Don’t

Everyone says you should be yourself,

Unless you are different.

Then you’re told: “Act like everyone else”.

Anyone, not different.

Anyone,…but yourself.

Everyone says you should be yourself,

Unless you are damaged.

Then everyone tells you: ‘Be someone else”.

Anyone, not damaged.

Anyone,…but yourself.

Everyone says you should be yourself,

When what they really mean to say,

Is we will be okay with you,

As long as you’re willing to say…

‘I need to change into someone else.

Someone better than myself.’

What they mean is: “Reject yourself with us or go away”.

K. Aldaya, 12/20/19

Picture: By Vinicius Amano on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/DZ0MfTX_9sQ