582. I’m Still Me

Everything I longed to be,

I could never be,

For I could never find my way,…

Back, to all of me.

Everything I longed to do,

I could never do.

Thoughts and memories…too fragile.

Dreams always fell through.

Everything I have longed for,

All of it and more,

Was not to be my destiny,

No, not anymore.

Everything I longed to be,

I could never be,

I am everything I am,…

Just,…separately;

And though I’ll never live it all,

I know I’m still me.

K. Aldaya, 5/16/22

Picture: By Jackson Simmer on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/ZxRHtPacwUY

581. I Am a Secret

I am a secret,

That no one wants to hear,

Yet, still, I exist,…

Tiptoeing ever near,…

And far.

I am a secret,

Which travels in the light,

Too bright to be seen,…

For blinding is the sight,…

Of truth.

I am a secret,

That no one wants around,…

Uncomfortable,…

And shake the very ground,…

Beneath.

I am a secret,

Which longs to be released,…

Under the table,

Just beyond life’s blithe feast,…

Of lies.

I am a secret,

That no one wants to hear.

I wander, unheard,…

Outside the atmosphere,…

Breathless.

I am a secret,

Which finds it hard to breathe,

In thick carelessness,…

Strangling,…while others seethe:

“Go! Leave!”…

“No one will believe”…

…”No one will believe”.

K. Aldaya, 4/24/22

Picture: By Hasan Ouajbir on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/GeH1kcP4u7o

568. M.E.

Why can’t you acknowledge and accept me?

Not for who you wish I was,

But who I’ve come to be?

Not by choice, and not from spite,…

By providence and necessity.

For I can not escape from myself,

Where I live entirely,…

And where none come to find me.

M.E……..Missing Eternally.

K. Aldaya, 12/8/21

Picture: By Keith Wong; https://unsplash.com/photos/3BqzXdQFJvc