unresolved – My Soul is a Lock Without a Key

I’ve been alive for so many years,

And I still have yet to live one day.

In and out. Young and old. Never me.

Never alive,…Not fully.

How to fix it? No one knows.

There are plenty of theories out there:

Ignore it. Isolate. Integrate.

Though perhaps, one simply can’t change fate?

If worsened, we’re told we’re not trying.

If bettered, it does not last one storm.

Here and there. Lost and found. Harmed and cured.

No one has the final word…

While we wait around in clouds of chaos,

Praying to Gods that do not save us…

Looking to men who can’t save themselves,

To know how to reach all of our selves.

K. Aldaya, 2/13/22

For me, life is a problem which needs to be solved.

A mistake which needs righting.

A misstep to be resolved.

Howe’er it seems the rest of the world can’t agree,

On whether I’m sleep deprived,

Or am simply crazy.

Whatever is said, I can not help how I feel.

I wish I could be content,

And accept the appeal.

Yet to me, it all feels wrong, damaged, and bizarre.

A puzzle missing pieces.

A beauty with a scar.

A scar: I can’t ignore the pain inflicted there.

Maybe that makes me crazy,

But I can not help but care.

Life is a problem that I want to figure out,

Though no matter how much thought,

I am only left with doubt.

For there is no solution. No answer to right…

The wrongs of existence,

Or bring meaning to light.

Life: It is a problem which needs to be solved, for me,

To be able to get some sleep at night;

So rather, I write on tirelessly,

For insight.

K. Aldaya, 8/22/19

Tag: unresolved