561. Estranged

I crossed mountains,

To warn of evil,

And you did not even care;

Then made friends with the devil,

And cast me out.

I crossed oceans,

To deliver you,…

To protect you, and to care;

Then you left and never knew,

I was drowning.

I crossed deserts,

To be by your side,

And quench your soul with hope;

And you rolled on as the tide,…

And left me there.

I crossed highways,

To run away to….

Nowhere in particular.

Desperately,…ran from you,…

And you let me.

K. Aldaya, 9/5/21

Picture: By Simon Berger on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/ET6NrIKz7Ak

560. Untouchable

I place my hands in front of you,

Though you do not see,

And I ask myself,

“Why do I do this to me?”.

I try and cry for sight,

In a world of the blind,

And expect to be seen,…

Out of sight,…out of mind.

I place my hands in front of you,

And you do not even know.

I wished for years to be like you,…

Now I’m just going to go.

K. Aldaya, 8/29/21

Picture: From The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo; https://weheartit.com/entry/328118982

537. Precensored

I don’t know why I bother.

Why do I even try?

To be a voice of reason?

When I’m no one, am I?

I’ve been ignored and forgotten,

Since the day that I was born.

I’m nobody to anyone,

So why foment even more scorn?…

By speaking out?… By caring?

For who has ever cared for me?

I’ve always been the outcast,

Within my society;

And yet I care about it all…

The people and politics.

I want the best for humanity’s future,

Though I know I can’t be the fix.

I am no one. I am pushed aside.

If I stand up for what’s right.

No one will care if I’m censored,

And fall forever out of sight.

Yet, I can not help but be myself,

An idealist through and through,

Who dreams and tries anyway;

Knowing no matter what humans do,

I will not have a say.

K. Aldaya, 4/30/21

Picture: By Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/0W4XLGITrHg

536. The Program

The mind is a prison,

And it’s always the same.

Nowhere to go to,

And an air of shame,

Floats right on through;

While the doors remain locked,

And darkness protrudes,

‘Til life only exists,

In despondent attitudes,…

And the outside exits.

No one will save us.

This is a life sentence,

Where no matter how you try,

You won’t receive penance,

At least not ’til you die.

A prisoner to the end,

There is no refuge in or out.

It’s either solitude and darkness,

Or the freedom of chaos and self-doubt;

For a day,..an hour,…maybe less.

The mind is a prison,

And it’s always been this way,

And the outside world, the only place to get away.

……………..*Running a prisoner trace*……………..

She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s out today…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s out today…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s lost her way…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away…
She’s locked away……………..

K. Aldaya, 1/31/21

Picture: Original Source Unknown; https://www.docbyte.com/blog/ocr-ai-digital-eyes-mailroom

518. Underground

help

How am I supposed to live,

When no one is willing to accept,

The entirety of my soul?

Every piece of me, broken, is swept…

Under the rug. I’ll never be whole.

How am I supposed to feel,

When society calls me a lie?

And says the face is what is real,

And not the inner voices who cry.

How am I supposed to trust,

When there’s no one fighting on my side?

I’ve learned the judge is far less cruel,

When the truth is denied,…and we hide.

I may be insane, yet I’m no fool.

How am I supposed to live,

When condemned,…buried,…forgotten?

One cannot live when they’re not free.

So I spend my days with paper and pen,

Writing my own wistful elegy,…

That no one will understand.

K. Aldaya, 6/21/20

Picture: https://www.inverse.com/article/7543-how-do-you-die-when-you-re-buried-alive