479. System Overload

Feeble…Faint…

It’s not real…not real;

Yet your legs have grown weaker,

Finding it best not to feel.

Panic…Pain…

The illusion clears.

No one’s coming to save you.

There is no use for those tears.

Terror…Fear…

That pain in your chest…

It tells you it’s not over.

For a victim, there’s no rest.

Horror…Loss…

There’s no going back.

The program’s installed…running…

And insanity’s the hack.

Empty…Numb…

A system with eyes,

Which carries out instructions…

As it’s humanity dies.

K. Aldaya, 7/10/19

Picture: From Humans; Emily Berrington as Niska; https://giphy.com/gifs/experience-amc-humans-sXhM9f1UIgYW4

475. Monstrous

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You love to laugh at my misfortune.

To watch me suffer and cry.

When I’m hurt or sick, you look away,

And wait ’round for me to die.

You’ve never asked me about myself.

Years, and I’m still the outcast.

You’d rather make up lies and spread them,

Then to get the truth at last.

You’ve stolen from me… Gave me silence.

Ignored, screamed, and called me names.

You’ve never cared how much pain you cause,

And replay those same mind-games.

You know I have no family to care.

There’s a target on my back.

No one will stand up in my defense.

Orphans are soft to attack.

I wonder if you’ll ever fathom,

The use of introspection.

I doubt it, for as it has been said,

Monsters will not stare at their own reflection,..

It scares them too much.

K. Aldaya, 5/19/19

Picture: By: Max Bender on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/XIVDN9cxOVc

471. In the Shadows

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Eyes look, yet they never see.

They draw pictures,

Yet none show me.

In black and white I hide behind,

In the shadows.

In blurred lines.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

They skim the surface,

Like a stone set free,

To fly ‘cross the surface of a lake,

Then sink carelessly,

Leaving solitude in it’s wake.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

You glance my way,

Yet you don’t see me.

I’m the phantom in the corner of the eye,

That waves hello,

Then walks on by.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

Time passes by,

As you pass me.

I am nothing…a ghost…a mirage,

That haunts your eye,

In perfect camouflage.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

They draw pictures,

Yet none show me.

In black and white I hide behind,

In the shadows.

In blurred lines.

K. Aldaya, 3/28/19

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://favim.com/image/4055695/#

451. Freak of Nature

You look at me like I’m a wall…about to crumble.

You step back…once…twice…always,

Then turn away while I rumble…

And fall to pieces.

You look at me like I’m a dam…about to rupture;

Then you tell me to be strong,

As you gossip ’bout my structure…

And I flood and drown.

You look at me like I’m a storm…about to transpire.

You run as far as you can;

And as my footing becomes dire…

I up and vanish.

Yes, I’m the freak of nature everyone passes by.

I tumbled down. I sank beneath. I blew into the sky.

No, No one ever said: “closer”…

They just waved goodbye.

K. Aldaya, 8/1/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/alone-walking-night-people-city-764926/

448. Replicant

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I didn’t want to be someone,

I hardly recognize,

Yet pain, it changes everyone…

In time.

Every day I am further from,

The soul I used to be;

Closer to who I have to be…

To survive.

The tragedy of life is that,

Time changes everyone,

And one day when we look in the mirror we don’t recognize…

Anyone.

So here I am: A replicant,

Of who I used to be.

I want to live, but yet I can’t;

So I live on, not as me,…

But as you.

K. Aldaya, 7/6/18

Picture: Alicia Vikander in Ex Machina; http://exmachina-movie.com/