479. System Overload

Feeble…Faint…

It’s not real…not real;

Yet your legs have grown weaker,

Finding it best not to feel.

Panic…Pain…

The illusion clears.

No one’s coming to save you.

There is no use for those tears.

Terror…Fear…

That pain in your chest…

It tells you it’s not over.

For a victim, there’s no rest.

Horror…Loss…

There’s no going back.

The program’s installed…running…

And insanity’s the hack.

Empty…Numb…

A system with eyes,

Which carries out instructions…

As it’s humanity dies.

K. Aldaya, 7/10/19

Picture: From Humans; Emily Berrington as Niska; https://giphy.com/gifs/experience-amc-humans-sXhM9f1UIgYW4

478. The Elsewhere

In the stillness of night she leaves,

The world and time behind.

She slips out of her bones,

And deep into her mind;

Where dream and reality meet, and,…

Breath upon breath create,…

Life, in desolation.

Feeling’s merely innate.

A door appears, she touches the knob,

And turns it, but slightly.

With a click, it opens.

She enters and closes it tightly.

Within is shelter, and protection;

Lost,…misplaced from the start.

Yearning becomes misery,

When men forget the heart.

Would you seek and pull her out from there?

Would you tell her she’s wrong?

That she’s better off staying,

And just suffering along?

For who knows what the answer should be,

To loss and sentiment.

If time can’t be rewound,

Should love and safety remain absent?

In the stillness of night she leaves,

To find what can not be.

Life is not fair they say,

And nothing is for free.

So, do not judge as she slips away,

Out of her bones and mind.

Oft’ we must seek elsewhere,

That which we’ve yet to find.

K. Aldaya, 5/25/19

Picture: By Sam Burriss on Unsplash; https://themighty.com/2017/10/how-to-help-dissociative-episode/

330. Lolita

tumblr_m2x1i4dsuC1r6mu6wo1_500

I like cake, and I like candy.

Blades for cutting wrists are handy.

I like treats, and I like frosting.

No one knows what childhood’s costing.

I like balloons, and I like games.

Obligatory silence maims.

I like dolls, and I like tea-time;

And touching children is a crime.

I like toys, and I like cupcakes.

This world is full of frauds and fakes.

I like pink, and I like parties;

And rapists rape children with ease.

I like frills, and I like laces.

Shut the door and close the cases.

I like carousels.  I like bows…

Scarred-wrists dressed in lolita clothes.

I like teddies and lullabies…

For they cover the shame-filled cries,

Of innocence’s homicide.

K. Aldaya, 1/20/16

Picture: By milk-rose on Tumblr; http://milk-rose.tumblr.com/post/21632099649

126. Lost Innocence

Broken_doll_by_spacedlaw

Then: a deathly shroud covered the sun.

When: vehement shadows harshly reigned,

Decisively ruling: rerun. rerun.

Repetitive witness in grays and blacks,

Of innocence dead, from go, to the cracks.

Through passionate summers of achieve,

Grew denser the stalkers’ expanse.

A hovering, creeping reprieve.

Tainting the airs of belief in rebirth,

Fogging the pathways to towns of life worth.

What hunters these lost phantoms be,

Slut-trophying…death in a breeze.

Distending the cracks with their new debris,

Constructed cracks of prophesied disgust;

Ends in cruel death…

Starts from a demons’ lust.

K. Aldaya, 2/27/05

Picture:  “Broken Doll” by spacedlaw on Deviant Art; http://spacedlaw.deviantart.com/art/Broken-doll-100896724