505. A Pebble

No one has time for me.

They’re too busy living.

They look away and don’t see,

How much that I need them.

It’s too complicated.

Too complex for a quick fix,

And everyone’s jaded,

By instant reward culture.

There is no time to care,

So I’m blamed for my state,

Of hopelessness and despair;

And stepped on as they pass…

Running: So they won’t know,

How deeply they have stomped me,

And how far below,…

I lie in humanities’ dust.

K. Aldaya, 1/7/20

Picture: By: Meghan Schiereck on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/9-Xg-uK9KiU

501. Be Yourself, Except…Don’t

Everyone says you should be yourself,

Unless you are different.

Then you’re told: “Act like everyone else”.

Anyone, not different.

Anyone,…but yourself.

Everyone says you should be yourself,

Unless you are damaged.

Then everyone tells you: ‘Be someone else”.

Anyone, not damaged.

Anyone,…but yourself.

Everyone says you should be yourself,

When what they really mean to say,

Is we will be okay with you,

As long as you’re willing to say…

‘I need to change into someone else.

Someone better than myself.’

What they mean is: “Reject yourself with us or go away”.

K. Aldaya, 12/20/19

Picture: By Vinicius Amano on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/DZ0MfTX_9sQ

500. The Useless

No one cares if you live in darkness,

Because they get to live in the light;

And sometimes I’m bitter, and it hurts my eyes,

To be hidden in misunderstandings and lies.

And sometimes I wish I could find and steal,

A little light to know how they all must feel;

So when it shines in their eyes they will know,

I’ve escaped their ignorance and ego.

For a moment, I hope they get a glimpse of the pain,

Of groping through life with the label “insane”.

Squinting, erratic, and lost.

Tell me society: What is the cost?

Is it so hard to turn on a light?

To invite truth, and do what is right?

Instead, they all go ’bout their day,

And blame the blinded for not finding their way.

For no one cares if you live in darkness,

‘Cause they get to live in the light.

Maybe one day it will all get too bright…

For them to face themselves, and address,

The loss and suffering, so useless…

…so useless….so useless….

K. Aldaya, 12/19/19

Picture: By Javier Garcia on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/J3sivicMj8Y

496. Stained

photo-1482263231623-6121096b0d3f

I know there is no middle ground.

Once something hidden is found,

It can not go and hide again;

And if some things aren’t tolerable then…

Not being honest means being accepted,

And being honest means being rejected.

Now it’s too late, and I’m riddled with fear.

Will I lose all that I hold dear?

I used to have nothing to lose.

Now I feel that I must choose:

Be selfish and hurt those I love,

Or be selfless and never rise above…

The pain.

Everything I touch, I stain.

K. Aldaya, 10/9/19

Picture: By Ian Espinosa on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/oXo6IvDnkqc

491. Ride