518. Underground

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How am I supposed to live,

When no one is willing to accept,

The entirety of my soul?

Every piece of me, broken, is swept…

Under the rug. I’ll never be whole.

How am I supposed to feel,

When society calls me a lie?

And says the face is what is real,

And not the inner voices who cry.

How am I supposed to trust,

When there’s no one fighting on my side?

I’ve learned the judge is far less cruel,

When the truth is denied,…and we hide.

I may be insane, yet I’m no fool.

How am I supposed to live,

When condemned,…buried,…forgotten?

One cannot live when they’re not free.

So I spend my days with paper and pen,

Writing my own wistful elegy,…

That no one will understand.

K. Aldaya, 6/21/20

Picture: https://www.inverse.com/article/7543-how-do-you-die-when-you-re-buried-alive

513. Salvage

To the world I’m nothing more than trash,

To be tossed away…

Devoid of value.

Nothing lost. Nothing to say.

I know I have value, though no one tries,

To pick me up and see,

Something of worth…

A shred of humanity.

The world threw me away without care,

And without my consent;

So I wonder what could’ve been,

If I hadn’t been absent?

If someone had noticed my absence and found,

That I could be,

Something of value,

For beyond entropy…

Comes a measure of hope.

K. Aldaya, 3/10/20

Picture: By Jordan Beltran on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/AxdlcxaModc

512. Forgotten

We’ll never belong anywhere,

‘Cause we were not let in.

The world forgot that we were here,

And left us all alone.

We’ll never get to live or age,

‘Cause time passed long ago.

The world turns another page,

And we’re nothing but a tale…

Another ancient story,

To be told, and then forgot.

For the world says we are history,

And only we know, we are not.

K. Aldaya, 02/25/20

Picture: By Danny G on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/l2NRQNkQ2Qk

508. Condemned

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I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Silently, as I lie in my bed.

There’s no reason to explain why.

No one cares what goes on in my head.

There’s no use crying. There’s no use talking.

I know I’ll suffer until I die.

Everything that I do or don’t,

Is considered my fault or a lie.

I’ll always be the criminal and scum,

While all those who hurt me move along.

They get to live. Be seen as good;

And I scrape by….Always in the wrong.

Tell me what’d I do to deserve this life?

To warrant such hatred and such pain?

I longed to be a good person,

But a bloodied soul just leaves a stain.

No matter where I go, it follows me,

Leaving paths of contempt to my door.

Go ahead and burn my house down.

It has happened countless times before.

I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Ostracized and punished ’til the end.

Why do the monsters get to live,

While I’m forced into darkness,…condemned?

K. Aldaya, 1/15/20

Picture: By: Mxsh on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/T9THJMIIMPM

505. A Pebble

No one has time for me.

They’re too busy living.

They look away and don’t see,

How much that I need them.

It’s too complicated.

Too complex for a quick fix,

And everyone’s jaded,

By instant reward culture.

There is no time to care,

So I’m blamed for my state,

Of hopelessness and despair;

And stepped on as they pass…

Running: So they won’t know,

How deeply they have stomped me,

And how far below,…

I lie in humanities’ dust.

K. Aldaya, 1/7/20

Picture: By: Meghan Schiereck on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/9-Xg-uK9KiU