618. I Once Was a Writer

I once was a writer,

Whom nobody read.

Who wasted their hours,

Alone, in their head.

For years, and years,

I bled out my soul,

Hoping to reach men,

And it took its toll.

I lost too much time,

That can not be returned,

On words unrealized,

And bridges burned.

I once was a writer,

Whom nobody read,

Who spoke the truth,

And left nothing unsaid.

Who wrote endlessly,

Unfelt, and unheard,

In the age of the new…

Unrecognized, and absurd.

For times, they change,

And those such as I,

Are a dying breed,

Under futures’ sky.

Yes, I once was a writer,

Whom nobody read,

Who decided one day,

To live, instead.

K. Aldaya, 8/15/23

GIF: From Vampire Diaries TV Series; https://chamberofspoilers.com/2015/04/17/vampire-diaries-season-6/

599. Life

You never came for me,

So I came for myself.

I wandered for years in search of me,

I took on the quest begrudgingly,

Because no one else would.

On Earth, we merely cope,

And do our best, despite;

Yet, though it may seem a tired old trope,

I have learned that where there’s hope, there’s life,

And where there’s life, there’s hope.

K. Aldaya, 12/11/22

Picture: By Amira Shawky on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/cRHXr4RXhtw

526. Coliseum

I long to write, though who will listen,

To the rantings of the insane?

The title merely grants invisibility;

And a face without a name,

In the coliseum of civility.

I wander through the crowds,

In the stands, where spectators watch,

As warriors and politicians,

Earn another scar or notch,

In the holding of their positions.

I stretch my hands out for scraps,

As they shoo me out of sight;

Though from here I see it all,

And know that none of this is right…

And soon all of us will fall.

Be it by starvation, wound, or pride.

We are all part of the show.

I may seem but a distraction,

Yet I’ve gone where others can not go;

And seen every angle of inaction.

For they play their parts quite well,

And the world moves to their plans.

I’ve seen every move and collapse,

As money changes hands,

And they fall in the same traps.

From the outside, I look in,

Year after year…Sin after sin.

I hold my voice, and hold my breath.

No one’s listening, so who can win?

We stand aside until death.

I look at you. Do you see me?

Are you looking? What do you see?

God’s play games, as day absconds.

Are you a God, or are you me?

Do you play games with human pawns?

For who can win an endless game?

And who can fight our mortal fate?

Though, in my eyes you’d find the sun,

So listen well, it’s getting late.

This entertainment is not fun!

And this game you can not win!

The only money, worth it, to spend,

Is found in the outstretched hand.

For the show continues long after curtain descends…

And only in the heart of another could you understand,…

All we have is each other in the end.

K. Aldaya, 10/7/20

Picture: By: Jorge Fernandez Salas on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/hvxJ2cnecd4

515. No Apologies

I will not apologize for wanting to live.

I may be a burden on people that I know.

Yet, just because I am different,

Doesn’t mean that I should go.

I will not apologize for wanting to live.

Knock me down, and I will get right back up again,

‘Cause I don’t care if others like me.

They can go their own way then.

I will not apologize for wanting to live.

It’s only natural instinct to fight to survive;

Even tonic immobility,

Is a means to stay alive.

I will not apologize for wanting to live.

People may believe that my life is not worth it,

Though no matter what others may say,

I am not willing to quit…

And yes, I’ve just as much right to stay.

K. Aldaya, 4/19/20

Picture: By Liam Burnett-Blue on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/-qwEUsg7UbI

502. You

Life was not worth living,

But I had to live on through,

So I could travel to the day,

I got to meet you.

I can’t say it was worth it,

I can’t say it was not.

I only know you came into my life,

And I love you a lot.

Life is not all good or bad,

And it’s not a balanced load.

Yet we somehow tumble along,

To find what resembles a road.

I can’t say it’s even a road.

It may be merely a plot.

I only know that this is life,

And fair, it’s often not.

There’s little I am sure about,

Though one thing I hold true.

I would not be writing this now,

If I had not met you.

When life feels not worth living,

I hope others may live on through,

So they can travel to that day,

They meet their someone too;

And say maybe it was worth it,

Or maybe it was not.

For who can reconcile a heart in love?

And mine,…loves you a lot.

K. Aldaya, 12/21/19

Picture: From Freestocks.org on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/a1Fmxesw31g