575. I’ve Got My Own Back

I have nothing to say to you,

I’m stronger on my own.

I don’t need anything from you.

I prefer to be alone.

Humans usually want something;

They, are rarely selfless,

And I do not have anything…

To give up, so it’s useless.

I can appreciate some things,

Provided by the pack,

But the bite of betrayal stings,

And I’ve learned from each attack,

That I can not depend on you,

And I’ve got my own back.

K. Aldaya, 2/16/22

Gif: From Black Widow; https://www.pinterest.com/pin/492862752980525627/

539. It’s Hard to Believe…So Don’t

You don’t want to believe,

And you do not care,

Because you do not have to.

You live comfortably…

Unaware.

For you will not believe,

What you have not known;

So, you’ll cast away my words,

Leaving me in silence…

All alone.

I don’t want to believe,

Though I have no choice.

Living is the greatest proof,

That I can not trust you,…

With my voice.

K. Aldaya, 5/18/21

Picture: By Jackson Simmer on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/1grn4afhiEE

524. Mirageneers

People say so much, and yet,

Have so little to say;

And when you try to speak on truth,

They then huff, and walk away.

Why should I trust anyone?

And why make any sound?

When my voice leaves on the wind,

Will they care if it is found?

My voice bled into the air.

Got lost: Grew starved and cold;

Which never would have happened,

If they’d have let the truth be told.

So, there’s no use in talking.

Who’s listening anyway?

No one cares if you don’t speak;

They just don’t want you to say,….

Anything to sabotage,

Or divert them away,…

From their mirage.

K. Aldaya, 8/5/20

Picture: By Tony Reid on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/PGdMhonLLZk

492. No Expectations

The-Girl-With-The-Dragon-Tattoo_Noomi-Rapace_rear-hoody-cap-31 (1)

You are not a killer,

But you are not my friend.

If I’m hiding from you.

It’s what I have to do.

Run. Hide. Defend.

You are not a monster,

But you are not an angel.

You may not be hunting me,

Though you’ll not guard or help me;

Fight or dispel.

You are not a stalker,

But you’re also never there.

Don’t say I should feel secure.

I know when hard times occur,

You won’t be there.

You are not a villain,

But you are not a hero.

You won’t be there to help me,

To traverse this world safely.

Red: Stop. People: Go!

You are not that evil,

But you are not that good.

So, I can not trust you;

A human through and through.

‘Would’, ‘Could’, and ‘Should’,

Yet none of them mean ‘Do’.

K. Aldaya, 9/25/19

Picture: Noomi Rapace in “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo“; https://clothesonfilm.com/noomi-rapace-in-the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo/

453. Dust Yourself Off

I hate when you treat me nicely.

I hate when I start to believe.

I hate that I set myself up again,

To question reality.

I hate that you’re not a monster.

I hate that I can’t run away.

I hate that I will walk closer to you,

And put myself in danger.

I hate that life’s not black or white.

I hate that I do not hate you.

I hate that nothing is ever simple,

And that none of this feels right.

I hate that I can not trust you.

I hate that to trust is a trap.

I hate that I try, and hate that I care,

When I really don’t want to.

I hate that you don’t really care.

I hate that it’s all a mirage.

I hate that I always hate myself more,

When again you leave me there…

…in your dust.

K. Aldaya, 8/11/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/iraq-sandstorm-weather-man-80329/