526. Coliseum

I long to write, though who will listen,

To the rantings of the insane?

The title merely grants invisibility;

And a face without a name,

In the coliseum of civility.

I wander through the crowds,

In the stands, where spectators watch,

As warriors and politicians,

Earn another scar or notch,

In the holding of their positions.

I stretch my hands out for scraps,

As they shoo me out of sight;

Though from here I see it all,

And know that none of this is right…

And soon all of us will fall.

Be it by starvation, wound, or pride.

We are all part of the show.

I may seem but a distraction,

Yet I’ve gone where others can not go;

And seen every angle of inaction.

For they play their parts quite well,

And the world moves to their plans.

I’ve seen every move and collapse,

As money changes hands,

And they fall in the same traps.

From the outside, I look in,

Year after year…Sin after sin.

I hold my voice, and hold my breath.

No one’s listening, so who can win?

We stand aside until death.

I look at you. Do you see me?

Are you looking? What do you see?

God’s play games, as day absconds.

Are you a God, or are you me?

Do you play games with human pawns?

For who can win an endless game?

And who can fight our mortal fate?

Though, in my eyes you’d find the sun,

So listen well, it’s getting late.

This entertainment is not fun!

And this game you can not win!

The only money, worth it, to spend,

Is found in the outstretched hand.

For the show continues long after curtain descends…

And only in the heart of another could you understand,…

All we have is each other in the end.

K. Aldaya, 10/7/20

Picture: By: Jorge Fernandez Salas on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/hvxJ2cnecd4

403. Doublethink

You taught me your doublethink,

Now I can’t escape the effects.

When ill I tell myself I’m fine,

When fine, sickness still infects.

I’m always here on the brink.

You taught me my words don’t count.

When sad to be happy.

When happy, never be too glad.

Survival’s all you can see.

Words and feelings never count.

You taught me your distortion.

Truth’s whatever served you the best;

And the truth is you lied to me,

For you, it was always best.

You flourished in extortion.

You taught me your doublethink,

Now your words, they hold no meaning.

When I’m angry I’m also calm;

Yet when calm,…anger’s seething!

I don’t think, I think…I think??

Sad is bad, and bad is sad.

And glad is mad, and mad is glad.

For 1 is 2 and 2 is 1.

You’re insane, so smile, be sad!

Doublethink has made you glad!

K. Aldaya, 6/28/17

241. Anxious Truth

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Something’s not right!

Can’t you feel it?

Something is wrong…..

It doesn’t fit!

This life it’s all wrong!

Can’t you sense it?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Broken.  Distorted.

Can’t you hear the song?

I can’t sleep ’til I fix it.

I’ll fix it right now.

I have to help everyone!

I cannot allow,…

This wrong to continue;

But to stop it….how?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Broken.  Distorted.

Can’t you hear the song?

Everything’s wrong!

Everything’s bad!

Please help me stop it!

I must fix or go mad!!!

There must be an answer?

Please it’s just too sad!

This life…, oh God…., this game, so….

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

And in truth…..

It’s been rigged all along.

K. Aldaya, 06/25/13

Picture:  by Anka Zhuravleva from her series “Distorted Gravity”: http://www.anka-zhuravleva.com; http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/10/11/article-2047778-0E53136900000578-403_964x703.jpg