518. Underground

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How am I supposed to live,

When no one is willing to accept,

The entirety of my soul?

Every piece of me, broken, is swept…

Under the rug. I’ll never be whole.

How am I supposed to feel,

When society calls me a lie?

And says the face is what is real,

And not the inner voices who cry.

How am I supposed to trust,

When there’s no one fighting on my side?

I’ve learned the judge is far less cruel,

When the truth is denied,…and we hide.

I may be insane, yet I’m no fool.

How am I supposed to live,

When condemned,…buried,…forgotten?

One cannot live when they’re not free.

So I spend my days with paper and pen,

Writing my own wistful elegy,…

That no one will understand.

K. Aldaya, 6/21/20

Picture: https://www.inverse.com/article/7543-how-do-you-die-when-you-re-buried-alive

508. Condemned

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I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Silently, as I lie in my bed.

There’s no reason to explain why.

No one cares what goes on in my head.

There’s no use crying. There’s no use talking.

I know I’ll suffer until I die.

Everything that I do or don’t,

Is considered my fault or a lie.

I’ll always be the criminal and scum,

While all those who hurt me move along.

They get to live. Be seen as good;

And I scrape by….Always in the wrong.

Tell me what’d I do to deserve this life?

To warrant such hatred and such pain?

I longed to be a good person,

But a bloodied soul just leaves a stain.

No matter where I go, it follows me,

Leaving paths of contempt to my door.

Go ahead and burn my house down.

It has happened countless times before.

I sobbed again, into the wee hours;

Ostracized and punished ’til the end.

Why do the monsters get to live,

While I’m forced into darkness,…condemned?

K. Aldaya, 1/15/20

Picture: By: Mxsh on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/T9THJMIIMPM