Why can’t you acknowledge and accept me?
Not for who you wish I was,
But who I’ve come to be?
Not by choice, and not from spite,…
By providence and necessity.
For I can not escape from myself,
Where I live entirely,…
And where none come to find me.
M.E……..Missing Eternally.
K. Aldaya, 12/8/21
Picture: By Keith Wong; https://unsplash.com/photos/3BqzXdQFJvc
I cannot sleep. I can’t escape,
The prison of my heart.
The warden holds his keys to me,
Yet I can’t run from my heart,
No matter how much it torments me.
I cannot rest. I dream of you.
My soul’s afflicted by your voice.
Your presence punishes my flesh.
Ah, the warden knows there is no choice…
All men are prisoners of the flesh.
I cannot leave. I can’t escape,
These walls of blood and flesh.
The world is built upon our cells,
Of passion and distress.
For there are no heavens or hells…
Only us.
K. Aldaya, 9/1/16
Picture: from Vampire Diaries; http://www.melty.es/the-originals/photos/
I know you will not understand,
When I say he wants me dead.
You will never understand what it’s like,
For another to live in your head.
To cut into your flesh so deep,
They bleed into your blood;
So violently invade your skin,
That they form a crimson flood,
And break down all the barricades,
Built to protect the spirit.
And barge inside so loudly,
That it frightens all who hear it.
All the parts of you, they hide,
In other rooms and floors;
They hide for fear of being found:
Cowering behind locked doors.
For the intruder walks up and down,
The corridors and stairs,
With his knife scrapping the walls, he walks,
And through each keyhole glares.
If anyone gets out of place,
And tries to run or sneak.
He’ll hear, find, and punish them,
At the softest of a creak.
Some parts of you will try to fight,
Yet it always ends the same.
A blood-bath; as a mortal can’t win,
An immortal at his game.
I know you do not understand,
When I say he wants me dead.
That he hunts the halls and that he guards,
The prison in my head.
No one can escape or leave.
No one’s allowed freedom.
Some live in fear, or plan escape,
Yet most are simply numb.
Please try to understand me,
When I say I cannot tell you.
To open up those locked doors,
Is something I can’t do.
To open them I risk my life,
And all the parts of me.
He’d kill body or mind to hide,
His crimes against sanity.
Hush now. Hush and be still,
And believe what you will.
For I know, yet cannot fully say,
Why my mind is haunted still.
K. Aldaya, 4/23/15
Picture: The Haunted Mansion Corridor at Disneyland; http://www.haunt1000.com/publishImages/MyHauntedMansion~~element27.jpg
No matter how far we reach,
Our spirits remain distant.
We long to meet…reach…and reach…
Yet our skin is resistant.
Our skin and bones detain us;
Hold us under lock and key.
On and on our sentence drones.
In death will we be set free?
Or is this a death sentence?
Life in prison. No parole;
Without recourse or defense,
Then shot dead through the keyhole?
Someday if our deaths’ pardon.
If souls traverse the cosmos.
Will we finally meet someone,
Discern and draw in so close,
That two souls may become one?
K. Aldaya, 4/7/15
Picture: By kelsey-makes-you-smile.xanga.com; http://favim.com/image/54089/
Down the stairs I wander.
In the dark of night I ponder.
What lives within its’ darkness.
My curiosity grows fonder,
Of the blackness which veils,
Revelations and lost tales;
As my legs shake they continue.
Step by step one voice prevails.
The air is cold and wet,
As the darkest black is met,
And the shivers up my spine:
They’re not mine…Oh, they’re not mine!
As the shivers overtake me,
I yell, “What have you done to me?”,
And a breath upon my ear replies,
“You know, but will not see.”
A scream echoes inside,
And I crawl to the rooms’ side,
As the dirt upon the floor,
Invades my every pore.
The dark reaches in me,
As I hide in my body.
Tears stream down an empty face.
Skin is stone, and I am free.
I close my eyes and there…
In the dark a form is there!
I see it. I can see!
Then a sudden light blinds me.
I awaken in my bed,
Still feeling that doom and dread.
I sit up to the side,
And in my hands I rest my head.
I lift my head and sigh,
And it turns into a cry.
Satans’ face breathes on mine,
And growls: “Sing me a lullaby!”,
“As I rape all that is mine”……..
–I walk the house today,
And every door and every way,
Leads down a dark staircase;
So down I step, and step again, as memories replay.
K. Aldaya, 3/26/15
Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/4628543/preview/stock-footage-creepy-possessed-man-in-the-basement-attacks-camera.jpg
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 
