We’ll never belong anywhere,
‘Cause we were not let in.
The world forgot that we were here,
And left us all alone.
We’ll never get to live or age,
‘Cause time passed long ago.
The world turns another page,
And we’re nothing but a tale…
Another ancient story,
To be told, and then forgot.
For the world says we are history,
And only we know, we are not.
K. Aldaya, 02/25/20
Picture: By Danny G on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/l2NRQNkQ2Qk
Life’s a rollercoaster,
That I don’t get to ride.
I am stuck upon the tracks,
With nowhere to run, or hide.
I hear people laughing,
As they go about their day…
Talking…moving…experiencing…
Fun and joy along the way;
While I ponder what it’s like,
To live instead of survive,
Without fear of being hurt,
Simply for being alive?
I yell, though there’s no help.
Some suffer, while others enjoy.
My pain won’t stop the ride of life,
From continuing to run and destroy.
Life’s a rollercoaster,
That I don’t get to ride;
Instead, I lie upon the tracks,
Knowing that soon I will die;
And my body fall through the cracks…
…Unnoticed.
K. Aldaya, 2/20/20
Picture: By Tore Odiin on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/qhJwkgRl9Hg
I am not human.
I am a machine.
You break me when you want to,
Then rebuild me again.
I’m merely an object to you.
I am not human.
I am a machine.
I’m programmed to laugh and smile,
When I do not want to;
Forced compliance through denial.
I am not human.
I am a machine.
That is why you exploit me,
Then reprogram a file,
To try and wipe the memory.
I am not human.
I am a machine.
Metal parts without a soul…
That’s what you think of me;
And that is why I have a hole,
Where a human heart should be.
K. Aldaya, 1/29/20
Picture: By msmichelebaker on makeagif; From Humans; https://makeagif.com/i/WfrIZa
It’s strange how when people know you’re trapped,
They feel emboldened to hurt you more;
Because they feel you can not use,
The emergency exit door.
For if you use it, and run….,
Escape the torture and abuse,
Everyone calls you a coward and cad;
Simply for the exit’s use.
People love to take advantage,…
Of the fact that you are not free,
To leave when it is all too much;
For there’s only one life that can be.
There is not a second chance to live,
Nor a soul to be restored.
People may not stab you to death,
But they’ll shamelessly hand you the sword…
So their shame becomes your own.
K. Aldaya, 1/22/20
Picture: By Engin Akyurt on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/IWK_Ki_bHZQ
I sobbed again, into the wee hours;
Silently, as I lie in my bed.
There’s no reason to explain why.
No one cares what goes on in my head.
There’s no use crying. There’s no use talking.
I know I’ll suffer until I die.
Everything that I do or don’t,
Is considered my fault or a lie.
I’ll always be the criminal and scum,
While all those who hurt me move along.
They get to live. Be seen as good;
And I scrape by….Always in the wrong.
Tell me what’d I do to deserve this life?
To warrant such hatred and such pain?
I longed to be a good person,
But a bloodied soul just leaves a stain.
No matter where I go, it follows me,
Leaving paths of contempt to my door.
Go ahead and burn my house down.
It has happened countless times before.
I sobbed again, into the wee hours;
Ostracized and punished ’til the end.
Why do the monsters get to live,
While I’m forced into darkness,…condemned?
K. Aldaya, 1/15/20
Picture: By: Mxsh on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/T9THJMIIMPM
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 