556. I Should Be Afraid

I should be afraid.

“Different” is a gun to the head,

In the hands of others;

With a ransom to be paid,

Or body laid, instead.

I can’t be honest,

To the holstered mobs of false decor.

Anomaly hunters…

Distinctions at their behest,

In their cruel quest, for more.

I should be frightened.

My fate’s to be devoured or loathed.

“Different’s” never “same”.

In this world I’d find no friend,

Once exposed,..and unclothed.

I should be afraid.

“Different” is a gun to the head,

That is out of my hands.

There is no life unafraid,

‘Til I’m laid…as the dead.

K. Aldaya, 8/11/21

Picture: From Stranger Things Season 4 Teaser Trailer; https://news.yahoo.com/5-things-surprised-stranger-things-022429466.html

487. Unwanted

She doesn’t want us here.

She parts the leaves and walks on through,

I wish I could walk in the warm breeze too.

She doesn’t want us here.

She faces the sun to burn sight…

Repeating: She’s,”…glad to live in the light”.

She doesn’t want us here.

She pretends that ghosts are not real,

‘Cause she doesn’t want to see, hear, or feel…

Herself…

She doesn’t want her here.

K. Aldaya, 8/24/19

Picture: By: Nine Kopfer on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/tJC6I9S3nBw

396. Fly Away Child

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

As a child I looked to the sky.

I knew you were my everything,

Yet one day, that you would die.

I studied you in the distance;

A form of God on earth.

I worshipped without question,

The toiler of my birth.

I called out with no reply.

I saw you there unmoving.

I wondered why you were so still,

Neither loving nor disapproving.

Like a picture of a memory,

You were perfect in my eyes;

With a smile: warm and tender.

I was naive and unwise.

Then a feeling hit me like a rock,

And I ran as tears fell down.

I ran, and ran, and ran,

Through the wheat at dawn.

I came so close to you,

I swear I heard your heart,

And as you faded away,

I kept listening for your heart.

Yet, your heart, it left with you,

Along with my youth.

You left me unsure of my worth,

For to me, you were it’s proof.

I was only a child afraid,

Who wanted you to stay,

But my picture of you drifted,

On the winds of a new day.

You never ran to me, not once;

Nor cared to hear my heart.

If I ever needed a hug,

Or if I’d fallen apart.

I wish I’d known on that day long ago,

No matter how hard I ran,

I’d never have made it there in time,

For you to hold my hand.

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

On the day I said goodbye,

To the picture I had of you,

And turned toward the sky.

It’s blue was as an ocean: pure,

I found hope in it’s peace,

That even those left all alone,

May find their love increase.

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

As a child I looked to the sky.

I wish I could have let her know,

That one day she’d be able to fly…

Into the loving arms of some distant, future sky.

K. Aldaya, 5/20/17

Picture: https://www.videezy.com/free-video/cornfield

250. Please Forgive Me

sad-little-girl

I’m really very sorry,

That I was born this way.

I’m really, truly, sorry,

That this won’t go away.

I know it is just awful,

To have a child as me;

And you must have a chestful,…

Of disappointment, and plea….

To your God, “Oh Why? Oh Why?”….

“Was I burdened with such?”

“A child so sinful to mortify,

My holy human touch?”

Children as that: all the same;

They all have the disease!

There is no cure for its’ name,

Or its’ eyes which displease.

I know you deeply hate me,

For being born this way.

Down on my knees I could plea,

But this won’t go away.

Sorry you had to bother.

Messed up your perfect plan.

Please, won’t you forgive me father,

For being a woman?

K. Aldaya, 8/26/13

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://merryfarmer.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/sad-little-girl.jpg