229. I Am Shame

What to do?

Tell me how to,

Lose all this fretful shame?

Suppressed and masked,

Through time in same.

In death my life has passed.

Try to bury,

In cemetery.

It haunts me in the gloom;

Whispering of sweet-death,

And trading life for doom,

With each gasping breath.

Try to free.

To let it be.

To get it out of me.

Truth is truth, even when,

It’s hard to have to see.

Please….don’t look at me then!

What to do?

Tell me how to,

Repel the guilt eyes’ impart?

More shame for shame;

For in letting guilt depart,

I burn in your lit-flame.

What to do?

I have no clue.

I am shame and am ashamed.

I exist whether liked or not;

Am made more when I am blamed.

For inside his body is fraught,

And is screaming from the relentless onslaught.

K. Aldaya, 05/23/12

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://www.mensxp.com/images/article/health/Mental_Health/Depression724311.jpg

92. A Burning Vision

Sitting still, as still can be,

Knowing that I cannot see,

Anything behind of me.

Hear the creaking ever closer,

But there sit, and do not stir;

Wait for something to occur.

Close, so close , that I can feel,

Breath behind. Almost surreal.

Longing for a screams’ repeal!

Silence but for the soft sound,

As evils’ heart does pound and pound,

In my ears the beats resound!

The terror comes o’er in whole,

A terror without console,

Begetting a tormented soul.

Hand quickly seizes my arm,

So sudden as to cause alarm,

Which foreshadows coming harm.

Frozen. Too scared to make a move,

This vision I must now remove,

For all things to improve.

With a spark of strength I turn,

To see what I cannot discern,

‘Bout this vision that does burn.

Black, cold, and bitter sights,

Fill my heart with dreadful frights,

And a blaze inside ignites.

K. Aldaya, 10/28/04

Picture: “Rabid” by Charles Bodi: http://www.charlesbodi.com/; http://ridemypony.com/index.php/2007/11/16/rabid/