33. I Will Stand Alone

I will stand alone with all I’ve known,

For my life is for me,

For only my eyes to see.

I have stood alone with each cry and moan,

Trying hard to forget,

Leaving residue of regret.

I now stand alone with the creaking of each bone.

I try to speak and release, feeling wrong in wanting peace.

I will stand alone ’cause no one’s on my phone,

For I don’t know how to be free,

To express my agony.

I have stood alone with each cry and moan,

For I’m guilty for my feelings,

For feeling my heart’s in peelings.

I now stand alone with all I have known,

For my life is for me.

For me, to see, and be.

K. Aldaya, 3/30/03

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.survival2020.com/wp-content/uploads/lonely-skeleton-survivor.jpg

32. Love?

Love?

Sometimes I feel I know what it is, but really I have no clue what it ’tis.

Only through dreams of fancy and thought, can we see how true love is sought.

Reality leaves little space for such, though love is needed in it so much.

With practicality and toughness people shrink their hearts to less and less.

They think only of their plights and selves, while there are many trapped in frozen cells.

Trapped in a cold and bitter world, where love is something kept up furled.

Love? It won’t be found until people see how horrible and cold they can be.

Too caught up in their daily routines to ever know what love truly means.

K. Aldaya, 10/17/03

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://lakeshagadson.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/one-lonely-person-in-crowd.jpg

31. Tired

I’m so tired.

Tired of being sad.

Tired of being mad.

Tired of crying.

Tired of trying.

Tired of thinking, feeling, and understanding.

I wish I were happy, joyful, and lively, but tired is all I am.

I’m just so tired.

Please…please…someone make this end!

I can’t take this anymore,…this life.

I feel empty and tired.

Just so very, very tired.

K. Aldaya, 9/21/02

Picture/GIF: from The Ring; https://38.media.tumblr.com/82b3053a9acf7f17ece7e68b9cf1dab3/tumblr_n08tallXtO1ra9vqfo1_500.gif

29. Wants

I want to cry but no tears drop.

I want to sleep but sleeping does stop.

I want to dream, dreams where happiness rings,

But I dream rather nightmarish things.

I want to live a happy life but all life hands me is pain and strife.

I want but do I want too much?

For it sure seems as such.

K. Aldaya, 10/23/02

Picture: Dark Wood by Butsmak on Photobucket; http://s138.photobucket.com/user/butsmak/media/untitled.jpg.html

28. Hello?

Hello? Can’t you see me?

I’m right over here.

Just open up your eyes and take a little peer.

Hello? Am I invisible or does nobody care about me?

I just walked by you upset, didn’t you see?

Hello? Can’t anyone hear me?

This connection must be bad.

Can’t anybody hear me sob and cry when I’m sad?

Hello? Is anyone out there?

Anyone who cares?

Hello? Is there anyone to fix my hearts’ tears?

Hello? Hello? I’m right here. Hello?

Can’t you see the tear? Why don’t you come near?

Hello?

K. Aldaya, 10/21/02

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://spoutingnonsense.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/brokenphone.jpg