144. The Canvas

I will not be still,

And void, go out without a fight.

I have stared life in the face,

And beat death in its’ eyes…

With spent love and grace.

I will not hideout,

Without an etched portrait to fill,

The white canvas sights’ place,

Into the hands of fate,

‘Til blind deaths’ erase.

I will not be still,

And blankly accept emptiness.

No seeking step nor trace,

Left to show the cut-hole,

Of deaths’ imprinted embrace,

Onto my bruised and bloody face.

K. Aldaya, 5/29/05

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://www.eyeshadowlipstick.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/red-lips-pale.jpg

117. Past Clouds

The past o’er hovers,

In clouds of thick smoke.

Cov’ring the sun,

Of futures’ yoke,

Hope: held by gun!

If wishes came true,

What man wouldn’t wish,

For azure skies,

Rays of hope to languish?

Dematerialize,

The sadness.

K. Aldaya, 1/28/05

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-46dx_VyCBug/Te7mSLsggYI/AAAAAAAAAPw/EzA_lKlvVTs/s1600/11.jpg

109. Seclusion

Seclusion.

Years in lone seclusion.

All alone.

Dark, empty intrusion.

Seclusion.

No one to hear the screams,

That echoed,

Off these old roof beams.

Seclusion.

Dwelling in this castle,

Of ancient.

No kind company’s hassle.

Seclusion.

What such a soul would give,

For a voice,

To make the silence live.

Seclusion.

O’ to be cared about.

One small glimpse,

To wipe away kinds’ doubt.

Seclusion.

Ghosts only fill these halls.

Their shadows,

Bolt across the walls.

Seclusion.

Haunted by these shadows,

From the deep,

That speak what ne’er shows.

Seclusion.

Desolate phantoms wail.

Vile, dead hopes.

Time does not avail.

Seclusion.

Out from tower seeing,

For cov’ring,

Grim forest unfreeing.

Seclusion.

Above I oversee,

The mis’ry,

Which is hanging over me.

Seclusion.

The sky is dark and cold,

Faded black,

As a nightmares’ enfold.

Seclusion.

In this place I cry,

“Find me here,

As I here ‘lone, must lie”.

Seclusion.

Eternally lost here,

In castle,

Which in the mind does sear.

Seclusion.

No one to hear each breath,

Keeping me,

From the near land of death.

Seclusion.

In the corner I hide,

Shaking as,

I so often have cried.

Seclusion.

Is where I e’er reside.

K. Aldaya, 12/09/04

Picture: “Girl Interrupted Series IV” by LivingDeadGurlx on Deviant Art; http://www.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Interrupted-Series-lV-50416935

103. Silenced Dreams

I often feel I should not speak,

Of dreams I oft’ have dreamt.

For bitter stories can they leak,

Stirring up much contempt,

And isn’t need irrelevant?

Though longing, long in silence,

For expressioned visions.

A contemplated final sense,

To reasons that dreams run,

With same old things, never done.

K. Aldaya, 11/14/04

Picture: “Alone in the Dark”, Artist Unknown; http://dark.pozadia.org/wallpaper/Alone-in-the-Dark-1/

95. Too Late

It’s too late. Far too late.

Why do some think they can change things past date?

It’s too late. Far too late.

Nothing can ever change the past: a closed gate.

It’s too late. Far too late.

Things will never go or change.

Past is fate!

It’s too late. Far too late.

Nothing will e’er be better,

So don’t wait.

It’s too late. Far too late.

Don’t think the pain will soon leave,

And be straight.

It’s too late. Far too late.

I know the truth about the past,

That all hate!

It’s too late. Far too late.

None want to believe there is…ever the weight!

K. Aldaya, 11/04/04

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://ih0.redbubble.net/image.6655570.0980/flat,550×550,075,f.jpg