At first the world didn’t see me,
Then when it finally did.
It shuttered up it’s eyes…
“Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.”
At first I had no voice at all,
Then when I did, and spoke,
Every ear was covered…
“Sing, bird. Sing, bird.”
At first I thought the world might change,
Then one day I realized.
Change lies in wait within…
“How strange! How strange!”.
K. Aldaya, 3/28/18
When I needed a hand, no one was around.
When I bled out my pain, no one ever cared.
When I needed an ear, no one ever listened.
When I cried myself to sleep, no one was awake.
When I needed a hug, no one ever held me.
When I was alone and scared, no one ever came.
Yes, I’ve always been needy…
And “No One” is my name.
K. Aldaya, 1/31/18
Picture: By: Justin Novello by Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/Y14TNvIDllM
I…I see you there.
Why can’t you see me?
I place my hand upon the glass;
Yet, your hand never reaches out to me…
Nor sees beyond reflection.
I…I see you there.
Far away, though still,
I wonder what it’s like to live,
On the other side of this windowsill.
My hand presses ‘gainst the glass…
…Waiting…………..
………Waiting………………….
K. Aldaya, 1/30/18
Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://wisgoon.com/pin/17546199/#submit_comment
Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.
Tears flowing forth.
Time runs it’s course,
In the flowing forth of words from mouths.
Nothing but a freak.
A child: lost and meek,
Cursed to bear the cost of others’ sorrows.
Fates can not be changed.
Experiences rearranged.
Once set into motion it continues.
Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.
“Kill yourself today.
You’re in everybody’s way.
Why can’t you see your fate is sealed.
No one wants you here.
Curse’s won’t disappear.
Why must you fight the flowing of the water.”
The window is ajar,
And beyond is just a bar.
One step and then it will all be over.
Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.
Nobody will stop you.
You know what you must do.
Look down into the darkness of the water.
Their eyes are looking up.
Go on, they’ve had enough.
It will only hurt a little longer.
Legs break in the fall.
Nobody cares at all.
They watch you with the coldness of the water.
Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.
Crawl to the boat’s tip.
Take a little slip.
Fall down face first into shivering water.
Can not swim away.
Lungs fill up straight away.
Choke upon the apathy of strangers.
Bodies soon grow cold,
As souls release their hold,
And all that’s left’s another child forgotten.
Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.
No one speaks the name.
Life goes on just the same,
As bodies drift away on the water.
Cruelty is a plague.
Apathy digs a grave,
Which buries all the outcast little children.
Flow. Flow. Flow in the water…
…Go. Go. Go to the water…
…….Go. Go. Go to the water.
K. Aldaya, 5/21/17
Picture: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22892496-dust-to-dust
I wish that I had been born,
With just the right type of skin.
I wish I knew how to make it work,
When I just don’t fit in.
I try so hard to look like them,
And duplicate their ways;
Yet no matter how hard I try,
I feel so unseen in their gaze.
I wish I had a way to make,
Things work out in the end.
To make my form a better fit,
And no longer have to pretend;
But I fear my fate is as set,
As the very skin I reside.
Born too thin to weather on,
Or remain long by your side.
I blame myself for everything.
For being born unfit.
For being a burden to everyone,
And being too selfish to quit.
For wanting what I know is wrong;
Wanting what can not be.
I know I am a fool to wish,
For what will never be.
I’ve always wanted to be the one,
Who helps you live your dreams.
I hope one day you’ll forgive me,
When my skin rips at the seams.
Thank you for holding me so close.
For loving me anyway,
And maybe if I pray enough,
I can come back to you someday…
In another life. Another time.
Born the same as you,
With thicker skin and thicker blood,
And we’ll live our dreams, me and you.
I wish I had been born,
With the same type of skin.
I wish I knew how to live for you,
When I just don’t fit in.
In a life where I’m your burden,
And you’re my greatest sin.
K. Aldaya, 5/15/17
Picture: Posted by Southern Sweetie on Bloglovin.com; https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/southern-sweetie-4084552/photo-1609929381
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 