98. A Redemptive Plea

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Please forgive me for my weakness.

I long to live for you in goodness,

But being born a freak like me,

I’m unfit to be linked to ye!

I long to be the best for you,

To show kindness in all I do.

I truly care and have a heart,

But guilt ever tears me apart.

Forgive me for being so bad,

And often sinking in pasts’ sad.

Forgive me. Please forgive me!

I love you. I’m sorry to be,

Such a horrible person….

A horrible nothing could worsen.

K. Aldaya, 11/07/04

Picture:  “Gothic Prayer” by Anne Stokes: http://www.annestokes.com/gothic/

80. Story of a Girl

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I’ve often heard about a girl,

From a distant land.

In meager old town she lived,

In house aged and grand;

Which year by year did stand.

The girl from the highest window,

From the place she dwelt,

Day by day sat staring;

Beside the window knelt,

To see the world she felt.

From the window two floors up,

As dawn drew near,

She saw the town yawn and rise,

To greet the days’ premiere.

Ah, the days she did revere.

As the sun scaled the sky,

More peoples appeared.

Following their bearings,

However brilliant or weird;

Hour by hour they steered.

Laughter of various children,

Loudly could be heard,

Playing in a joyful fancy,

With which there is no word;

“Just happy truth”, sings bird.

All pass her house hurriedly,

None to see her form,

Quickly living out their days,

Through sun, wind, and storm,

To societies’ conform.

No notice made of a void,

An emptiness to fill,

With pair of reclusive eyes,

High on a window sill.

A soul, silent and still.

A girl watching intensely,

When the dusk befalls,

Doors closing for the night,

As the moons’-light calls

The silence enthralls.

Dark descends.  Stars glow.

Girl ponders the day.

Many people made it through,

Another spectacular day,

With not one glance her way.

Yet, every morn, at first light,

She wakes before all,

To see the sun shine again,

Upon this town so small.

Abandoned.  Not part of it.

Only sights to recall,

Of a life which she’s unfit,

Left in solemn withdrawal.

K. Aldaya, 9/29/04

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://s1.favim.com/orig/22/girl-sad-window-Favim.com-212680.jpg

79. Foreign Intent

See a human.

Looks like all others,

Walks alike,

Your reality smothers.

See a being.

Talks as you do,

Must think,

Just like you too.

The truth is,

Your truth is a lie

I’m different.

No human being am I.

Something else,

Not you in the least.

I’m the typical,

Fabled ’bout, outlander-beast.

A derelict,

Similarity in appearance.

If inward showed you’d wish disappearance.

I’m not human,

I’m something different,

Living and thinking with foreign intent.

K. Aldaya, 9/25/04

78. Shouldn’t Be Here

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Everything on this Earth tells me I shouldn’t be here.

From the day of my birth, through each and every year.

Wishing I weren’t here.

Nothing I do is right.

I think unlike the masses.

Tossed into the night as time flows and passes.

Rejection here amasses.

K. Aldaya, 9/23/04

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Eq7_IIxCWyM/TlGwfbyY_4I/AAAAAAAABLE/uT5zKHrTix4/s1600/alone.jpg

56. The Freak Inside

In my mind I’m not fit to be anything that you might see.

I’ll never belong with my own and will be forever ‘lone.

sad girl sitting alone on floor

I know when people look at me they see the freak that I be.

I try to hide what I am, but I always fail their exam.

I can feel their hate and disgust, for me, whom they distrust.

K. Aldaya, 4/15/04

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://a.wattpad.net/cover/3283593-256-k508337.jpg