494. Autumnmous

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In the fields of youth I wandered alone,

Through the veil of night, in search of home;

And though time passes forgetting today,

I’ve still found no place to stay.

Fall comes again, yet never left;

And the ghosts’ whispers leave me bereft.

I am still alive, though dead.

Tell me: Where is the past to rest it’s head?

I walk among the falling leaves.

Every tree cries out and grieves,

For what is gone may ne’er return,

And what is known we can’t unlearn.

In the fields of youth I wander alone,

Through the veil of night, in search of home.

Time left me and will ne’er reappear.

Now I’m a ghost, yet I am still here…

Eternally haunting the present;

And no one notices that I’m absent.

So I wander alone looking for home.

I am a child, though my body is grown.

Time keeps on moving forgetting today.

Yesterday’s gone, and there’s no place to stay.

K. Aldaya, 10/6/19

Picture: By: Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/HwZQGB-ZjG4

492. No Expectations

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You are not a killer,

But you are not my friend.

If I’m hiding from you.

It’s what I have to do.

Run. Hide. Defend.

You are not a monster,

But you are not an angel.

You may not be hunting me,

Though you’ll not guard or help me;

Fight or dispel.

You are not a stalker,

But you’re also never there.

Don’t say I should feel secure.

I know when hard times occur,

You won’t be there.

You are not a villain,

But you are not a hero.

You won’t be there to help me,

To traverse this world safely.

Red: Stop. People: Go!

You are not that evil,

But you are not that good.

So, I can not trust you;

A human through and through.

‘Would’, ‘Could’, and ‘Should’,

Yet none of them mean ‘Do’.

K. Aldaya, 9/25/19

Picture: Noomi Rapace in “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo“; https://clothesonfilm.com/noomi-rapace-in-the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo/

485. Everyone Tells You Not to Die

Everyone tells you not to die,

And then they walk away.

Who should be blamed at the end,

When no one was willing to stay,…

Around.

Everyone tells you not to die,

Yet who’ll help you to live?

Who would stay around and try,

When there’s only so much life to live…

On Earth?

Everyone may say you should live,…

Though most will let you die.

K. Aldaya, 8/21/19

Picture: By: Chuttersnap on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/RlC1eHzJOFI

472. The Carousel

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In the carnival of life,

I ride a carousel;

And every seat is full,

As it starts with the bell.

On each horse there sits,

A rider that I know.

Yes, all of them are me;

And all of us must go…

In circles, as we watch the world,

Float by in a blur;

Until the bell rings again,

And we lose a passenger.

One gets off and tries to leave,

But a tether holds them there.

They watch as people pass on by,

And sing out: “Life’s unfair”.

Then the bell, it dings again,

As they go back to their seat,

Thinking: “Life’s chiefly a picture book,

With faces we can not meet”.

Spinning and spinning and spinning…

The world goes round and round.

No, it is not living,

When you can’t stay on the ground.

In the carnival of life.

I ride a carousel.

I wish I could just leave this place,

But the mind is it’s own hell.

K. Aldaya, 4/16/19

Picture: https://gifimage.net/carousel-gif-10/

471. In the Shadows

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Eyes look, yet they never see.

They draw pictures,

Yet none show me.

In black and white I hide behind,

In the shadows.

In blurred lines.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

They skim the surface,

Like a stone set free,

To fly ‘cross the surface of a lake,

Then sink carelessly,

Leaving solitude in it’s wake.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

You glance my way,

Yet you don’t see me.

I’m the phantom in the corner of the eye,

That waves hello,

Then walks on by.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

Time passes by,

As you pass me.

I am nothing…a ghost…a mirage,

That haunts your eye,

In perfect camouflage.

Eyes look, yet they never see.

They draw pictures,

Yet none show me.

In black and white I hide behind,

In the shadows.

In blurred lines.

K. Aldaya, 3/28/19

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://favim.com/image/4055695/#