You never came for me,
So I came for myself.
I wandered for years in search of me,
I took on the quest begrudgingly,
Because no one else would.
On Earth, we merely cope,
And do our best, despite;
Yet, though it may seem a tired old trope,
I have learned that where there’s hope, there’s life,
And where there’s life, there’s hope.
K. Aldaya, 12/11/22
Picture: By Amira Shawky on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/cRHXr4RXhtw
I will not apologize for wanting to live.
I may be a burden on people that I know.
Yet, just because I am different,
Doesn’t mean that I should go.
I will not apologize for wanting to live.
Knock me down, and I will get right back up again,
‘Cause I don’t care if others like me.
They can go their own way then.
I will not apologize for wanting to live.
It’s only natural instinct to fight to survive;
Even tonic immobility,
Is a means to stay alive.
I will not apologize for wanting to live.
People may believe that my life is not worth it,
Though no matter what others may say,
I am not willing to quit…
And yes, I’ve just as much right to stay.
K. Aldaya, 4/19/20
Picture: By Liam Burnett-Blue on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/-qwEUsg7UbI
How to explain it? I have not the words.
My brain and body, they are cowards.
How do I explain that feeling inside,
When I’m with others it hurts not to hide;
To run away to the comfort of alone.
The feeling is one that I’ve always known.
A tension…A pain locked in the chest,
Which may only find release and rest,
When solitude (the oldest of friends),
Returns to assuage and make amends.
I long to feel comfort and connection,
Rather, I feel distress and rejection.
Nothing need be said or done,
Yet my head feels pressed against a loaded gun.
The nerves,…the discomfort…the body responds.
The same human body which should create bonds,
Tells me I’m crazy for sticking around;
That there is nothing here to be found.
If only optimism and love were the cure.
Yet no matter how thoughtful, caring, or pure…
The feeling never goes away,…just hides,…
Behind masks and smiles it resides;
Twisting the stomach and wrenching the heart,
‘Til again I lose, and fall apart.
Strength and optimism have their rewards,
Though do not mistake toothpicks for swords.
Strength keeps me going. Optimism’s my friend.
Howe’er there are things they too can not mend.
Please excuse me while I try not to show,
How hard it is to be human and know,…
The pain of never being at ease,
With connections, moments, synergies.
How to explain it? I have not the words.
My brain and body, they are cowards.
As my thoughts live and fight on,
I take a deep breath, and continue along.
K. Aldaya, 7/23/19
Picture: By: Melanie Wasser on Unsplash ;https://unsplash.com/photos/j8a-TEakg78
This world is full of bullies,
Who’ll throw their weight around.
They’ll lack the skill to fight you,
So they’ll cheat and build themselves up,
To throw you to the ground.
No matter what they may say.
The best won’t always win.
Those who fail time and again,
May never get what they deserve.
May never, ever win.
So you should not place your bets,
On who will win one fight,
For the true victor will rise,
Against the odds and vast mountains,
Without a hand in sight.
This world is full of bullies.
It’s not fair, but it’s true.
They’ll find ways to tear you down,
While looking like the noble saint;
And the pure angel too.
Do not be discouraged though.
Fight on… Fight hard and strong!
For no matter the outcome,…
Defeat is but temporary,
And eternity is long.
K. Aldaya, 5/12/19
Picture: Alicia Vikander, Tomb Raider; https://www.trainforher.com/alicia-vikander-becoming-lara-croft/
Keep on moving, moving, moving.
Fate is cruel,
And worth reproving.
Keep on trying, trying, trying.
Life’s unjust,
There’s no denying.
Keep on going, going, going.
The point:…
There’s no way of knowing.
Keep on fighting, fighting, fighting;
Be it by pen,
Then keep on writing.
K. Aldaya, 10/30/18
Picture: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/passion-is-where-the-power-is
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 