I’m so overtired.
I wish I could sleep.
I stare at the ceiling,
And silently weep.
I’m nobody’s worry,
And nobody’s care.
Lifetimes of emotions,
Pull me here and there.
The moon’s even sleeping.
I wish I could too,…
Though life, it is not fair,
And it is not through.
I have many more nights,
To cry on my own;
And far many more days,
‘Fore I can go home.
K. Aldaya, 8/22/22
Picture: By Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/wCgy-qHtZtM
For me, life is a problem which needs to be solved.
A mistake which needs righting.
A misstep to be resolved.
Howe’er it seems the rest of the world can’t agree,
On whether I’m sleep deprived,
Or am simply crazy.
Whatever is said, I can not help how I feel.
I wish I could be content,
And accept the appeal.
Yet to me, it all feels wrong, damaged, and bizarre.
A puzzle missing pieces.
A beauty with a scar.
A scar: I can’t ignore the pain inflicted there.
Maybe that makes me crazy,
But I can not help but care.
Life is a problem that I want to figure out,
Though no matter how much thought,
I am only left with doubt.
For there is no solution. No answer to right…
The wrongs of existence,
Or bring meaning to light.
Life: It is a problem which needs to be solved, for me,
To be able to get some sleep at night;
So rather, I write on tirelessly,
For insight.
K. Aldaya, 8/22/19
Picture: By: Lai Man Nung on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/6Ptwy-nDnoE
11pm, it’s late again.
Time to close your eyes.
No moon in sight to make it light,
Darkness descends and lies.
12am, two hours past ten.
Another day is gone.
You stare at nothing, yet everything,
While deciding which side to rest on.
1am, the hour when…
Your thoughts decide to party:
Dance and drink, and overthink…
Rage and disagree.
2am, you grab a pen,
To silence the noise inside;
Write it out, reread, and doubt…
Which words you should confide.
3am, you drop the pen,
Too tired to think clearly.
There are no words that aren’t cowards,
And cowardice costs dearly.
4am, near dawn again.
The world will soon awake,
And you will stare, lost in despair,
Of the sun you will forsake.
5am, You lie and then…
Fall down deeply into sleep.
Finally at rest, yes, you sleep best,
After you ponder and weep.
K. Aldaya, 1/16/17
Picture: https://www.walldevil.com/13623-bokeh-books-empty-lights-manmade-night-notebook-pages-wind.html
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 