45. Not Like You

I just can’t truly relate,

To others at any rate.

I just don’t fit in here,

Near others I so fear.

I just am so afraid,

I wish I could just fade.

I just am so alone,

But for others live as stone.

I just don’t understand,

How you can live in this land?

I just don’t think like you,

I don’t feel the way you do.

That is why I am so hated,

Forever unloved and berated.

Leave me be and let me stay,

In my own world, locked away.

Never to be known or seen,

For eternity behind my screen.

K. Aldaya, 3/14/04

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gVknTK0QANk/T90WilbWrzI/AAAAAAAADSE/14giGjbyvLU/s1600/dungeon.jpg

42. Little Girl

Hello little girl I once was,

Are you doing what a little girl does?

You aren’t like all those others,

You are a girl that hides under-covers.

Other little girls don’t do that,

Sneaking and tip-toeing ’round like a cat.

When the night-moon’s up on high,

You don’t sleep but lie and cry.

Little girls aren’t this bad,

They don’t keep their parents mad.

Little girl why is it, that you so often get a hit?

Why are you so often loud?

You know talking’s not allowed.

You can now hide in here,

In the closet hide from fear.

Little girl come out! Come out!

Can’t you hear your daddy shout.

You must leave your cave now,

And greet the thrash of bad’s endow.

Little girl I hate you so,

Why can’t you disappear and go?

You shouldn’t even breathe their air,

You don’t deserve one single hair.

Why are you so disgusting?

You’re such an awfully messed-up thing.

Little girl go hide again.

Stay there ’til I tell you when.

Close your secrets in with you,

Shut them ever in there too.

Little girl your secrets, they,

Must stay forever locked away.

Little girl you need not show,

How you’re badder than they know.

You, yourself, brought this on,

So you deserve what’s foregone.

Hello little girl I know well,

Keep your soul locked. Never tell!

K. Aldaya, 3/08/04

Picture 1: Photographer Unknown; http://erebusteam.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=1240&d=1368782526

Picture 2: Photographer Unknown; http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/sites/default/files/child.jpg

17. The Known Life

Why does life have to be so hard.

Each day deals us a new card.

Sadness and pain are everywhere,

While happiness is often found to be rare.

People are almost always sad,

But some can hide all the bad.

Life can be so painful when buckets of rain are full,

In your body,

In your mind,

In your heart…which is broken apart.

K. Aldaya, 6/28/02

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/17900000/Random-pics-sad-songs-17925811-894-894.jpg

16. No Words

There are no words to speak,

What I feel inside at my peak.

There are no words to see,

What is going on inside of me.

There are no words to hear,

Of what is in my heart to fear.

There are no words to tell,

What I know so very well.

There are no words at all,

To express what’s beyond this wall.

K. Aldaya, 8/11/03

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.vasquevuelas.mx/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/my-lips-are-sealed.jpg

13. It

It’s always there,

Deep, deep, inside.

It’s always where,

It is easy to hide.

In it’s hiding it rests,

Slowly growing; growing.

Passing it’s tests,

To keep going, and going.

Then all at once it erupts,

From being contained so long.

Showing more downs, less ups,

Destroying hearts’ song.

K. Aldaya, 5/29/03

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://media.npr.org/assets/news/2010/01/18/depression-e463a655307ccad3f1e741b74f3193f81620b2c1-s6-c30.jpg