Ah, the luxury of not having to believe.
I wish I had such riches.
Some things are best not known.
Best not to scratch the thought that itches,
And pretend it isn’t there.
Ah, the luxury of not wanting to believe,
And live in ignorant bliss.
I wish I knew what it was like,
To shove truth away with a fraudulent kiss,
And not feel guilty at all.
K. Aldaya, 2/15/22
Picture: Original Source Unknown; https://weheartit.com/entry/19485891
If I used logic. I would still be called a fool;
For logic will not purge the minds of resolute belief.
You’ll always think me: “fool”.
If I used emotion to try and reach your heart,
You’d only dismiss it as ‘irrational sentiment’,
And spurn my bleeding heart.
If I told the truth. If I told you what I know.
You’d remind me that truth is unreliable when it,…
Occurred so long ago.
If I swore on my life, that I know and speak the truth.
You’d still deny my pleading words. No matter what I said,
You’d still require proof.
If I stepped off a cliff and waved to you goodbye,
Would you finally listen to what you refuse to hear?
To be heard, must we die?
If I apologized for my life and my soul,
Would you continue to blame me until the utter end,
And still forsake my soul?
If you don’t yet know this, then let me please explain.
Invalidation kills the soul and digs an early grave,
And there the stone reads bitterly:
“This life was naught but vain”.
K. Aldaya, 7/12/17
It is behind me,
I must keep running,
This thing is ever so cunning.
It chases afar,
I can’t stop to rest,
Hunting me, it’s at its’ best.
It never will stop, nor let me forget,
That I deserve it’s constant threat.
At times so near, that I can hear it,
Breathing and yearning for just one hit.
To take me down to its’ stormy lair,
A pit of utterly loathsome despair.
I must keep moving,
No stopping to hide,
It can sense where I reside.
My fear, it draws it, ever closer; closer.
Always there it will not deter.
Keep on running,
No! Don’t turn around!
Keep going ’til you lose its’ sound.
The sound that echoes,
That pains and taunts,
The minds of those it eternally haunts.
The darkness around,
It hinders my flight,
But doesn’t obstruct my pursuers’ sight.
I’m lost in darkness,
Confused and afraid….Run!..,
Through a world without any sun.
In the darkness it swiftly flies,
Glaring at me with its’ flaming eyes.
I often can hear the pounding in my ears,
Its’ heart beating, throbbing me to tears.
I must keep running!
Forever move faster!
To avoid a potential horrific disaster.
I must stay strong,
Keep moving ahead,
So I don’t end up worse than dead.
K. Aldaya, 3/21/04
Picture: Artist Unknown; http://imgs.mi9.com/uploads/scary/4348/terror-eye_1024x768_76579.jpg
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 
