I don’t miss you.
I miss what could have been.
If you were different.
If pride hadn’t gotten in the way.
If you hadn’t always been absent.
For even when there,
You were always somewhere else.
There were things more important,
Then family, fondness, and connection.
Life’s flow and time are insignificant,
To those already gone.
K. Aldaya, 2/2/23
Picture: By Daniel Jensen on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/tCyyySlFNZs
I could scream, and yell, and tell you off,
But why even bother?
When you’re determined to misunderstand me.
I’m always the loser. The criminal. The other.
There’s no use in talking to those who can not hear,
And there is no use in waiting in a line,
When you’re always in the rear.
Nothing gained, and more time lost.
Time’s so precious…
It’s too high a cost!
So I won’t pay with my time anymore,
Nor wait for another attack.
I’ve turned and walked away from you,
And I’m not coming back.
K. Aldaya, 12/2/20
GIF: From The Vampire Diaries; https://weheartit.com/entry/310251927
You were not kind,
And you weren’t the worst;
And though you’re gone,
I must say first,
I wish we could’ve met again one day,
Yet time has taken you away,
And now we’re history.
Strong wooden houses,
We each stood there in time,
Though soon the floors creak,
And are covered with grime;
And I wish we could’ve gone to see,
And understand our history;
Before you were torn down.
I longed for more,
Yet now it can’t be.
We remain unvisited;
Unpreserved and empty.
They say that it’s an uncivil war,
To fight time for anything more…
Than what we are given.
So here I stand,
In the past and present,
With only a memory,
To prove you are absent.
We are nothing more than mere moments in time,
A barren plot,… a whisper,… a passage in rhyme…
Civilly squandered.
K. Aldaya, 10/20/19
In Memoriam
Picture: Judith Henry’s House, Manassas, Virginia, 1862; American Civil War; https://www.pinterest.ch/pin/462815299200135707/
In the stillness of night she leaves,
The world and time behind.
She slips out of her bones,
And deep into her mind;
Where dream and reality meet, and,…
Breath upon breath create,…
Life, in desolation.
Feeling’s merely innate.
A door appears, she touches the knob,
And turns it, but slightly.
With a click, it opens.
She enters and closes it tightly.
Within is shelter, and protection;
Lost,…misplaced from the start.
Yearning becomes misery,
When men forget the heart.
Would you seek and pull her out from there?
Would you tell her she’s wrong?
That she’s better off staying,
And just suffering along?
For who knows what the answer should be,
To loss and sentiment.
If time can’t be rewound,
Should love and safety remain absent?
In the stillness of night she leaves,
To find what can not be.
Life is not fair they say,
And nothing is for free.
So, do not judge as she slips away,
Out of her bones and mind.
Oft’ we must seek elsewhere,
That which we’ve yet to find.
K. Aldaya, 5/25/19
Picture: By Sam Burriss on Unsplash; https://themighty.com/2017/10/how-to-help-dissociative-episode/
I am an illusion.
What’s seen is not real.
I’m simply a construct,
Of what you think and feel.
I am an illusion,
Of hope and consequence,
Blowing through the universe;
In the absence.
I am an illusion,
Which wishes to be more;
Ever searching for substance,
Where it’s ne’er been found before.
I am an illusion.
Blink and then move on.
I was never really here at all.
Like time, I’m both here…and gone.
K. Aldaya, 3/29/18
Picture: By Norvz Austria; https://xetobyte.deviantart.com/
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 