228. The Alien’s a Freak

My pain I cannot express,

Nor does it matter to try.

No one will ever see what I see,

Nor through my heart cry.

By expressions I am outcast.

By skin I am judged.

My soul, an alien, a freak,

To which I am misjudged.

Different is always punished;

No matter how it came to be.

If changed by others or made so,

Aliens deserve to die or flee.

Flee and hide away inside,

And change the form to seem,

Just as every other human being.

To live,… to survive this hellish dream.

But tell me is it really living if one must hide from everything?

K. Aldaya, 01/16/12

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://favim.com/image/36285/

220. I’m a Fake

Speak.

Words removed.

Sudden release.

Burdens proved.

Speak….

Regret swift.

Fake again,….

Pretend lies drift!

Speak,

No! No sound.

Or ye shall,

Be assuredly drowned.

K. Aldaya, 07/02/11

Picture: “La Dolorosa” by Victoria Frances: http://www.victoriafrances.es/en/; http://www.victoriafrances.es/en/gallery/favole-3-frozen-light/

169. Question

Question: “Why me?”

I know you’ll say, “Why not?”,

But honestly, “Why me?”

Why an overcrowded lot?

When over there’s an empty one,

Why consistently my lot?

Don’t answer again, “Why not?”

Statistically improbable,

Is the chance to pick one place,

‘Til it is over-full,

And completely out of space.

When right there’s an empty one,

Almost yearning for used-space.

Why mount me up with such disgrace?

Question: “Why me?”

I know… I deserve it.

But why pleading daily,

For mercy’s earned-pit,

To swallow built-up griefs,

So high no more can fit?

Then again I’m unfit…,

To judge “Why me’s” the universe does permit.

K. Aldaya, 9/25/05

Picture: “But Why??” by SpellboundMisfits on Deviant Art; http://www.deviantart.com/art/But-Why-105393250

164. Be At Peace Little Ones

In my youth I never slept,

As one of idle mind.

For children of innocence,

So soon are left behind;

To gather and to bind.

A mess of immature chaos,

Was carried from my early start.

Oh, youth should not be poisoned so,

Twisted by a blackened heart,

And dreams scattered apart.

I know not what it’s like,

To be free of my memory,

Nightmares and they intermixed,

Compounded in every degree,

By the years taken from me.

My body was the enemy.

My soul a fallen comrade,

In wars of power and control.

The armor in which I was clad,

Was made of fear…and bad.

When turmoil is your first bed,

And innocence costs you dear,

You learn to sleep alone at night,

And be at peace in the drear.

(As your side’s pierced with a spear).

So be at peace ye little ones,

When youths’ caress has left,

To comfort not within the strife,

That’s left your soul bereft.

Look beyond the theft,

As just one piece of this shattered-life.

K. Aldaya, 9/17/05

Picture: Originally on http://vodkaandvogue.tumblr.com/; Photographer Unknown; http://favim.com/image/311870/

160. Heavens’ Angels

Angels whisper secrets on the wind,

Barely sensed, but by the sinned.

Tortured-wails resonate,

In these endless nights of late.

Sifting through spirit skinned,

Seeking paths to heavens’ gate,

Brushing our eyes of glass, froze,

In the evenings as we doze.

Reinforcing haunts of thought,

In embrace of what’s forgot.

Comfort lit-star shows…

Hence, gone, and not.

Begging mercy for souls tonight,

On wings of angels’ flight.

As we softly rest weak bones,

Gently as wind music drones,

And settles within ears light…

“Sinned are thee”, where love unowns.

Flagrant transgressions made,

We shed on face to never fade.

And lo’ the angelic-tenants,

Of gloried sight and fertile scents,

Soar o’er field and glade.

Longing for heart-lands dense.

But few are we who grow no life,

No trees branched to the afterlife.

We close our eyes at night to pray,

Knowing our sins are bound to stay.

For the moon so crisply rife,

Shines in our hearts of gray.

Shameful existence of…

Supplications to above.

Seraphs celestially abide.

Not near we mortals a-died,

Unable for to have love…and..

E’er reach Zions’ reside,

On angels flown in skies above.

K. Aldaya, 8/27/05

Picture: “Flying Angel” by NaJae-Crazy on Deviant Art; http://najae-crazy.deviantart.com/art/Flying-Angel-345515496