575. I’ve Got My Own Back

I have nothing to say to you,

I’m stronger on my own.

I don’t need anything from you.

I prefer to be alone.

Humans usually want something;

They, are rarely selfless,

And I do not have anything…

To give up, so it’s useless.

I can appreciate some things,

Provided by the pack,

But the bite of betrayal stings,

And I’ve learned from each attack,

That I can not depend on you,

And I’ve got my own back.

K. Aldaya, 2/16/22

Gif: From Black Widow; https://www.pinterest.com/pin/492862752980525627/

498. Bla[me]

I can not blame my mother,

For she is merely human;

And I can not blame my father,

For he is but a man.

I can not blame the sun,

For being unable to sleep;

And I can not blame the moon,

Which stays distant while I weep.

I can not blame the planet,

For teeming with endless life;

And I can not blame the seasons,

For my sorrow and strife.

I can not blame the world,

Or the criminals which infest.

I can not blame our species,

For not always being best.

I can not blame anyone,

For being the way I am.

I am not what they think I am.

I’m nothing but a sham!

I can not blame the ‘verse,

For the frigid and remote views,

From my spot down here on Earth;

To apperceive and peruse.

I can not blame my body;

It’s as human as can be.

I can only blame what doesn’t work,

And what doesn’t work, is me.

K. Aldaya, 12/11/19

Picture: By Andrew Le on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/uggEzuTP7Xk

394. My Greatest Sin

I wish that I had been born,

With just the right type of skin.

I wish I knew how to make it work,

When I just don’t fit in.

I try so hard to look like them,

And duplicate their ways;

Yet no matter how hard I try,

I feel so unseen in their gaze.

I wish I had a way to make,

Things work out in the end.

To make my form a better fit,

And no longer have to pretend;

But I fear my fate is as set,

As the very skin I reside.

Born too thin to weather on,

Or remain long by your side.

I blame myself for everything.

For being born unfit.

For being a burden to everyone,

And being too selfish to quit.

For wanting what I know is wrong;

Wanting what can not be.

I know I am a fool to wish,

For what will never be.

I’ve always wanted to be the one,

Who helps you live your dreams.

I hope one day you’ll forgive me,

When my skin rips at the seams.

Thank you for holding me so close.

For loving me anyway,

And maybe if I pray enough,

I can come back to you someday…

In another life. Another time.

Born the same as you,

With thicker skin and thicker blood,

And we’ll live our dreams, me and you.

I wish I had been born,

With the same type of skin.

I wish I knew how to live for you,

When I just don’t fit in.

In a life where I’m your burden,

And you’re my greatest sin.

K. Aldaya, 5/15/17

Picture: Posted by Southern Sweetie on Bloglovin.com; https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/southern-sweetie-4084552/photo-1609929381