501. Be Yourself, Except…Don’t

Everyone says you should be yourself,

Unless you are different.

Then you’re told: “Act like everyone else”.

Anyone, not different.

Anyone,…but yourself.

Everyone says you should be yourself,

Unless you are damaged.

Then everyone tells you: ‘Be someone else”.

Anyone, not damaged.

Anyone,…but yourself.

Everyone says you should be yourself,

When what they really mean to say,

Is we will be okay with you,

As long as you’re willing to say…

‘I need to change into someone else.

Someone better than myself.’

What they mean is: “Reject yourself with us or go away”.

K. Aldaya, 12/20/19

Picture: By Vinicius Amano on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/DZ0MfTX_9sQ

340. Random Thought #15

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You interrupted my thoughts, now I can’t think anymore.

Your tongue has poisoned the silence again…malignantly confusing once more.

Why can’t I just be me? Let me be who I am and stop!

Stop trying to change who I am, for I can only be true to what lies within.

My mind, heart, and soul are intricately interwoven within.

As many have so said before, “Thou must be thyself in truth”.

The drops of blood which through these veins pour, are a flowing, living proof.

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture: Posted by Strangers in a Dark Paradise on Tumblr;  http://strangersinadarkparadise.tumblr.com/post/105521602429

147. Black Roses

I thought if I expressed my pains,

The pain would be too great,

That all the flower, in one brief hour,

Would wither in dead-fate.

But I’ve been wrong as so often I am,

Forcing-out the inner world,

Has only made the flowers grow…steady and slow,

Into dark interpretations of my world.

Rose_Gothic_by_Zefir4ik

Seeing there before my eyes those tinted-petals,

Swaying in a windswept field.

Shadows set free for all to see,

My mind fogged with unsettles.

I thought the black-blooms would turn,

My eyes to love its’ hue,

And grant this love to rise above,

All thoughts of life in me to view.

But I was wrong, as I’ve always been, about this too.

You cannot hide what lies inside,

To live you must show you.

To the world show all the pains,

Materialize them…they are real.

If they lie, your heart will die,

For flowers need room to reveal.

Thickets of thorns: crimson and black,

Grow ‘neath tear-drowned skies;

Swiftly slicing their way each day,

Through bones and skin to your demise.

My moonlit roses ashen and set,

Far and wide upon my face,

Have released my heart burdens of its’ part,

In fading tears to bloomings’-pace.

Flowers must be able to grow,

And show what must be seen.

Hiding deep pains…draws weep stains,

To choke burdens unseen.

So leave me my field to show,

That I can let each flower,

Grow and be for all to see,

And daily greet each new rain-shower.

K. Aldaya, 6/15/05

Picture:  “Rose Gothic” by Zefir4ik on Deviant Art; http://zefir4ik.deviantart.com/art/Rose-Gothic-144655365