352. Random Thought #17

I could sit for hours in this spot,

Just staring at the wall;

And I sometimes wish I could do just that,

Without any guilt at all.

Yet, I feel guilty for my absence;

For not being enough…

For letting my mind escape for awhile,

When times get tough.

So I fight against the emptiness,

And fight against the pain,

When I know it’s only a matter of time,

And it’s sure to end the same.

If one day I don’t make it back.

Please promise me you’ll try,

To still come visit, and hold my hand,

A few times before I die.

K. Aldaya, 5/11/16

349. Where You Are

lost-love-Favim.com-3729332

If I climbed the tallest mountain,

Would I ever reach your heart?

Can I follow you to where you are,

Where we’ll never be apart?

If I traveled to the stars,

And found the universe;

Could I find space next to you,

And within your soul immerse?

If I found the answers,

To meaning and existence,

Would our destinies be one strand,

Of time’s web, rich and immense?

If I can’t climb that mountain,

Or search the twinkling heavens;

Or if I cannot give you,

The peace vast knowledge sends…

Will you remember that I existed,

If I can’t reach where you are?

Will you care that I had reached for you,

And traveled long and far?

Will you think of me sometimes?

K. Aldaya, 4/20/16

Picture: Uploaded by Helena888 on Favim; http://favim.com/image/3729332/

348. Drowning on the Surface

How is it the more I speak,

The more I feel misunderstood?

What’s the point of speaking,

When it never does me any good?

Why do I even bother,

What can be said or done?

No one wants deep relationships,

And I’m tired of every shallow one.

I have no energy to waste,

On trivial conversations.

There’s no worth for me in social conventions.

I’d rather dwell on inner contemplations.

I wish I didn’t have to speak,

When there’s no point to anyway.

No one listens or understands,

Or cares to try as they may…

To know another soul,

And connect beyond the skin.

It hurts too much to try again,

Just to drown once more in the skin.

K. Aldaya, 4/14/16

Picture: Photo from Google; Originally from Video: http://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-9892391-stock-footage-lonely-girl-at-rain-looks-at-dirty-forest-pond-worried-girl-sitting-with-hands-over-head-stares-to.html

341. The War for Survival

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The skies have grown black near the sea this eve.

Even the ocean, muddied, is fit to receive…

The death with follows the tornadoes of war,

Which spread from the shorefront to the steps of each door.

Waves crash and sting the eyes of the weary,

Who stroll through the streets as ghosts: silent and eerie.

Bodies float away and one man with a clipboard,

Counts each one seen with his pen like a sword.

The shelters are gone. There is nowhere to run,

And each man carries his own personal gun;

To fight back the tide of inevitable gloom.

Yet how many bullets will save even one from their doom?

The world is awash with an ocean of change,

Which washes all men and turns them deranged.

They bury the dead in mass graves without markers,

Then walk off with the smiles which living desires.

For who can keep walking on the bones of the fallen,

Without falling too deep into the sickness of men?…

Who have fallen before us begging for mercy;

And died at the gunpoint of their own misery.

The masses walk on with guns in both hands.

There’s no time for thinking. No time to make plans.

Is this war really worth it?…The bodies and the blood,

Of all the life of this planet buried in the mud?

The war continues…there’s no more to be said.

Shoot down your brother so you don’t end up dead.

Yet how will you save your soul from your sins.

For when your body soon rots the real fight begins.

K. Aldaya, 3/15/16

Picture: Originally posted by Gloomy Rules on Tumblr; http://giphy.com/gifs/shark-attack-ocean-storm-thunder-gifs-dOCG720yNqAms

334. Night Dreams

The foggy night is cool and glistens,

With the rains of yesterday,

And I find myself saddened again,

By the loneliness of it’s gray.

Yet, I know this is my hour of choice.

The peaceful and tranquil hour,

When most humans are found fast asleep,

And I feel most safe within my tower…

To look out into the universe,

And wish upon a star or moon,

For their beauty to become an eternal song,

So I may forever hum out their tune.

I long to stay and sing out,

Into the silence of eternity;

Though it makes me sad to be alone,

It’s far better with no company.

The stars will hear and twinkle bright,

And the moon will brightly beam.

No matter how dark and lonely the night,

It still can feel like a dream.

I’ve yet to meet one human being,

Who cares to hear my song or voice;

Instead my voice is ripped from me,

And the soul is left no choice…

It runs away and hides behind,

Cordialities and facades.

The body lingers devoid of life,

At the edge of gambled-odds.

There is no dream unbroken by,

The realities of humankind.

Will we ever be safe in each other’s arms,

Or truly understand another’s mind?

Until that day or maybe never,

I will hope and dream at night.

Alone I will sing to the distant moon,

And when tears fall they’ll express the flight,

Of my soul into the skies.

K. Aldaya, 2/25/16

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.playbuzz.com/shira10/22-unbelievable-facts-about-the-human-body-that-will-blow-your-mind