152. The Worthy Grave

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You truly don’t know what the hours can bring,

The shrill stinging-winters, and fresh buds of Spring.

The seasons hastily wither on,

All entangled and used as a pawn,

In the deaths nights discernibly bring.

The graveyards are open for guests or the dead,

And isn’t that you when you sleep in your bed,

Dreaming of a consistent view,

Agreeable to aspirations in you?

Which disintegrate, with all I’ve said.

Don’t worry my plot has been worked myriad ages,

Slumbering shallow there, in ordered stages.

Tombstone reads, “Here lies the dead”,

And yes, I’m still lying here in my bed,

Citing forth head-words to pages.

You truly don’t know what the hours carry,

Floating o’er my ossuary.

I’ve bled, and bled, and bled to live;

But to ghosts, time cannot give,

Blindness to what all can see.

(So just leave your knife inside of me.)

I remember the smell of damp death and earth,

And the screaming silence of broken-birth,

Driven to solace with your purging-pain,

A blade of turmoil and chaos to the brain.

For you see?….

Your souls’ deathbed was granted as my worth.

K. Aldaya, 7/13/05

Picture:  “Feet Strapped Down in Bed” by Mary Ellen Mark: http://www.maryellenmark.com/; http://www.bulgergallery.com/dynamic/images/display/Mary_Ellen_Mark_Feet_Strapped_Down_in_Bed_1976_c1976_1858_41.jpg

146. God of Man

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You say aloud you love me,

But why spoken so easily?

When in but one brief moment,

You clearly do hate me,

As nothing’s given back quite as nice as you’ve lent.

Your love’s a constant danger,

What will you do for love?

I know…you’d take out all my bad shown.

Seen evident hither,

Where you stake your cross-branding e’er ceaseless atone.

All-knowing. Malevolent.

You’ve placed your throne of judgment high,

For God’s commands to enforce.

Now aren’t you God ill-bent?

To play God o’er all you choose to love as sins’-source?

But O’ self appointed God,

I don’t care anymore. I’m tired.

Do what you want.  I give up.

I can’t e’er fear to trod!

Kill sin-flesh if you must.

Pass ’round my bloody cup.

Spread the cup to every mouth,

So they can speak too of my sins,

But remember this, King of Kings,

When blood-drips from your mouth,

A God of heaven may be listening,

And bears spotless, white wings.

K. Aldaya, 6/12/05

Picture:  “I Give Up” by VhPhoto on Deviant Art; http://vhphoto.deviantart.com/art/I-give-up-206763483

126. Lost Innocence

Broken_doll_by_spacedlaw

Then: a deathly shroud covered the sun.

When: vehement shadows harshly reigned,

Decisively ruling: rerun. rerun.

Repetitive witness in grays and blacks,

Of innocence dead, from go, to the cracks.

Through passionate summers of achieve,

Grew denser the stalkers’ expanse.

A hovering, creeping reprieve.

Tainting the airs of belief in rebirth,

Fogging the pathways to towns of life worth.

What hunters these lost phantoms be,

Slut-trophying…death in a breeze.

Distending the cracks with their new debris,

Constructed cracks of prophesied disgust;

Ends in cruel death…

Starts from a demons’ lust.

K. Aldaya, 2/27/05

Picture:  “Broken Doll” by spacedlaw on Deviant Art; http://spacedlaw.deviantart.com/art/Broken-doll-100896724

118. The End is Here

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He knocked on my door,

To show that he is here.

Tall, dark, and frightful.

Morosely laughing,

Provoking sound fear.

Traducing the silence,

Bitter-shrieks of mis’ry,

Not out from within,

But stolen;

Ripped forth out from me.

Sharply he turns back,

Quick, flees out the doorway.

Came in just as he left,

“You can’t ever leave,

Right here you will stay!”

Day ‘vades his exit.

Window-rays torment well.

With uncertainty,

Time laughing,

As tolled: the End Bell!

K. Aldaya, 2/1/05

Picture:  “The Old Wooden Door” by Dan Tucker: http://www.photographybydantucker.com/; http://www.photographybydantucker.com/gallery2.php?ImgCatIDurl=1&ImageID=133&page=4

103. Silenced Dreams

Alone in the Dark 1

I often feel I should not speak,

Of dreams I oft’ have dreamt.

For bitter stories can they leak,

Stirring up much contempt,

And isn’t need irrelevant?

Though longing, long in silence,

For expressioned visions.

A contemplated final sense,

To reasons that dreams run,

With same old things, never done.

K. Aldaya, 11/14/04

Picture:  “Alone in the Dark”, Artist Unknown; http://dark.pozadia.org/wallpaper/Alone-in-the-Dark-1/