407. Naught but Vain

If I used logic. I would still be called a fool;

For logic will not purge the minds of resolute belief.

You’ll always think me: “fool”.

If I used emotion to try and reach your heart,

You’d only dismiss it as ‘irrational sentiment’,

And spurn my bleeding heart.

If I told the truth. If I told you what I know.

You’d remind me that truth is unreliable when it,…

Occurred so long ago.

If I swore on my life, that I know and speak the truth.

You’d still deny my pleading words. No matter what I said,

You’d still require proof.

If I stepped off a cliff and waved to you goodbye,

Would you finally listen to what you refuse to hear?

To be heard, must we die?

If I apologized for my life and my soul,

Would you continue to blame me until the utter end,

And still forsake my soul?

If you don’t yet know this, then let me please explain.

Invalidation kills the soul and digs an early grave,

And there the stone reads bitterly:

“This life was naught but vain”.

K. Aldaya, 7/12/17

406. The World, It Wants Me Dead

giphykrst

The world is talking to me.

I hear it speaking loudly.

It’s voice echoes internally,

Of it’s hatred: Just for me,

Since my birth.

The Earth is speaking to me,

“No one cares about thee!”

“Thy birth, it was a tragedy,

Which only death could remedy;

In the fall.”

When the whole world wants you dead,

It hardly seems good manners to be hard in head;

And fight the fate which lies ahead.

The path will, and has always lead,

To the fall.

The world, it wants me dead!

—And yet,…I’ve never liked being told what to do.

K. Aldaya, 7/10/17

Gif: Kristen Stewart in Welcome to the Rileys; https://giphy.com/gifs/kristen-stewart-college-obama-NITJtjaJQJJS

405. Renegade

Run away.

Run away. Be free.

To them you’re only a body.

Run away.

Run away, and be,

Whoever you may wish to be.

Run away.

Run away. Be whole.

Agenda’s will steal ‘way your soul.

Run away.

Run away in fright,

From those who align wrong with right.

Run away.

Run away, my friend,

Or they will use you ’til the end.

Run away.

Run away and fly,

For they will not care if you die.

Run away.

Run away…today.

They will try and convince you to stay,

Yet run away,…

Run away, anyway.

You’re more then the politics of the day!

K. Aldaya, 7/5/17

Picture: https://lockerdome.com/6895118150158401/7721626657624084

404. I. I Am More.

I. I am more then you can see.

I am good, and I am bad.

A universe resides in me.

I. I am more then a mere face,

To deem as vile or fair.

My soul’s contours one can not trace.

I. I am more then you can know.

I am death. I am life.

I walk where few would choose to go.

I. I am more then a body.

I’m angel and demon.

I’m the truth you refuse to see.

I. I am more then you believe.

I’m despair. I am hope.

Conjointly, I fail and achieve.

I. I’m more then reality.

I’m human. I’m spirit.

I am far deeper then the sea.

I. I am more then skin and bone.

I’m anguish, and I’m glee.

I am infinity alone…

In a human multiverse.

K. Aldaya, 7/9/17

403. Doublethink

You taught me your doublethink,

Now I can’t escape the effects.

When ill I tell myself I’m fine,

When fine, sickness still infects.

I’m always here on the brink.

You taught me my words don’t count.

When sad to be happy.

When happy, never be too glad.

Survival’s all you can see.

Words and feelings never count.

You taught me your distortion.

Truth’s whatever served you the best;

And the truth is you lied to me,

For you, it was always best.

You flourished in extortion.

You taught me your doublethink,

Now your words, they hold no meaning.

When I’m angry I’m also calm;

Yet when calm,…anger’s seething!

I don’t think, I think…I think??

Sad is bad, and bad is sad.

And glad is mad, and mad is glad.

For 1 is 2 and 2 is 1.

You’re insane, so smile, be sad!

Doublethink has made you glad!

K. Aldaya, 6/28/17