You look down on me,
In the dust,
Of the storms you’ve created,
And judge me for being dirty;
When consequences can not be abated,
By your guilt.
I brush myself off again,
In the eye,
Of your ignorance,
And wait for the dust to settle in,
On the odd chance,
You’ll look down upon yourself,…
And turn to dust.
K. Aldaya, 04/17/21
Picture: By Austin Ban on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/IS6RwpuEJpY
No one asked you to understand me,
Or asked for you to stay.
I could talk until I’m blue in the face,
Though I’d be misunderstood either way.
I don’t have the energy for people,
Who simply care to judge and assume.
My head is full enough already,
And there is no more room…
To worry what you think of me,
Or if you’ll accept me as I am.
Accept why I do the things I do,
And assume I have reason to be who I am.
So if you can not do this,
Then please just walk away,
For if you can’t see any good in me,
There’s nothing more to say.
K. Aldaya, 1/23/21
Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://favim.com/image/4073467/
Give me a man who’s pure evil,
Over a good one anyday.
At least the cruel man is honest,
And you’ll know his intentions right away,
But a good man who does evil things,
How does one anticipate or react?
When you’re unsure if someone will do harm,
What is the best course or tact?
Give me a man who’s pure good,
Over an evil one anyday,
Because the good man is honest,
And you’ll know his intentions straight away;
But an evil man who does good things,
How is one supposed to feel about that?
The head spins unsure of what to think,
Or how best to view them or react.
Give me anything but a human,
Who rides on a tipping scale,
Of kind of good and kind of bad,
How can any of us prevail?…
In a world where everyone is in question,
And anything can be put on display.
Honesty is preferable to high moral ground,
And trust is just a game we play.
K. Aldaya, 1/19/21
Picture: Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow in Avengers; https://vocal.media/geeks/5-avengers-sure-to-die-by-the-time-marvel-s-phase-4-rolls-around
They’ll tell you not to try,
And tell you that you can’t.
They’ll tell you there are limits,
And those without them: “Intransigent!”.
I’ve known so many such as them,
And I’ve come to realize,
The strength and courage within you,
They’ll never accept or recognize.
So don’t ever hold yourself back,
For the sake of someone who “cares”.
No one will hold you back for your sake.
They’ll hold you back for theirs.
K. Aldaya, 1/18/21
Picture: From New Girl; https://giphy.com/gifs/new-girl-fox-new-girl-xT0BKrCsKse91wFt72
One day when I was a young girl I came home from school.
I walked into an empty kitchen and removed a piercing tool.
It’s hard to explain how one comes to make such a decision,
And who can truly understand without expansive inquisition.
It was not a fleeting thought; nor was it to be my last…
Thinking that if things be planned by God, then my die had long been cast.
My life could only lead to one inevitable end.
No matter what I wished could be, my life I couldn’t defend.
I waited a minute, and then another, thinking on death and life.
I stared off thinking how thin the line is, such as the blade of a knife,
Then I took a breath, closed my eyes, and lied down on my bed.
Seconds feel like hours with the knowledge that you’ll soon be dead.
I held the tool against my heart listening to the sound:
Budump. Budump. Budump. Budump.
Pound, and Pound, and Pound!
As tears washed down my face like a tidal wave of doom,
I looked away from the rising climax, to the ceiling of my room.
I bitterly cursed the light above, which had failed to shine my way,
And had left me in the darkness from my earliest remembered day.
As the tension rose within and pushed the arms to act,
A clang-clang, clang-clang, clang-clang…spurned every muscle within to contract!
The drawstring on the light above, weighted on it’s tip had swung to the glass above it,
And hit………………..and hit………………………and hit!
My breath was gone, and my thoughts replaced,
With how this could logically be the case.
How something could move so eagerly without a hand in sight.
It had never happened once before, and never again after that night.
Why I was not to die that day I may never know the reason;
Though I’ve learned from life that for everything there’s a time and a season;
And for some reason something or someone in this vast universe,
Wanted me to be here now, to write for you this verse.
To tell you that I was once there,…walking that line ‘tween life and death,
And I’m here now to tell you that there’s much more length and breadth.
Life has it’s ups and downs, and neither’s more important.
Each breath and second that is lived is what’s most significant.
In ways one can not fathom in this form of blood and bone.
Simply remember the universe is endless, you’re important, and you’re never truly alone.
K. Aldaya, 1/13/21
Picture: By Greg Rakozy on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/oMpAz-DN-9I
My Soul is a Lock Without a Key 