82. Unspeakable

gallows_by_hornedquad-d5nby0v

I can’t even speak what I’m feeling,

And if I did I’d hurt others.

It’s best if I don’t say a thing,

To save the  life of all others.

I cannot leave, but I hurt to stay,

I just have to find me another way,

Not for tomorrow, but for this very day.

Today. Today.

I’d have to be selfish to speak out,

Since I’m the deserver of pain.

What can I do to spare all,

From seeing in what bed I’ve lain?

I cannot leave, but I hurt to stay,

I just have to find me another way,

Not for tomorrow, but for this very day.

Today. Today.

I need to somehow make two,

A me to stay and a me to go,

One to keep all others happy,

The other to seek the suns’ glow.

I cannot leave but I hurt to stay,

I just have to find me another way,

Not for tomorrow, but for this very day.

Today. Today.

I must keep fighting and hiding,

For the sake of all others near.

It’s what I always must bear,

I must silence now all of the fear.

(Cover, wipe, hide every tear!)

I cannot leave but I hurt to stay,

I just have to find me another way,

Not for tomorrow, but for this very day.

Today. Today.

K. Aldaya, 10/7/04

Picture:  “Gallows” by HORNEDQUAD on Deviant Art; http://hornedquad.deviantart.com/art/GALLOWS-341519359

81. Itty-Bitty Happy Kitty

Happy kitty wandering,

Once itty-bitty, pondering,

What it will do next.

Happy kitty learned ’bout life,

Once itty-bitty, near mid-life.

Paws the sofa still.

Happy kitty, play a game,

Once itty-bitty, fun as aim,

Chasing every string.

Happy kitty, rub ‘gainst feet,

Once itty-bitty, but e’er sweet;

Purring for a pet.

Happy kitty, meow again,

Once itty-bitty, young always in,

These memories rich.

My beautiful, happy, baby kitty,

Ever in mind and heart itty-bitty.

K. Aldaya, 10/5/04

(For Belle)

80. Story of a Girl

girl-sad-window-Favim.com-212680

I’ve often heard about a girl,

From a distant land.

In meager old town she lived,

In house aged and grand;

Which year by year did stand.

The girl from the highest window,

From the place she dwelt,

Day by day sat staring;

Beside the window knelt,

To see the world she felt.

From the window two floors up,

As dawn drew near,

She saw the town yawn and rise,

To greet the days’ premiere.

Ah, the days she did revere.

As the sun scaled the sky,

More peoples appeared.

Following their bearings,

However brilliant or weird;

Hour by hour they steered.

Laughter of various children,

Loudly could be heard,

Playing in a joyful fancy,

With which there is no word;

“Just happy truth”, sings bird.

All pass her house hurriedly,

None to see her form,

Quickly living out their days,

Through sun, wind, and storm,

To societies’ conform.

No notice made of a void,

An emptiness to fill,

With pair of reclusive eyes,

High on a window sill.

A soul, silent and still.

A girl watching intensely,

When the dusk befalls,

Doors closing for the night,

As the moons’-light calls

The silence enthralls.

Dark descends.  Stars glow.

Girl ponders the day.

Many people made it through,

Another spectacular day,

With not one glance her way.

Yet, every morn, at first light,

She wakes before all,

To see the sun shine again,

Upon this town so small.

Abandoned.  Not part of it.

Only sights to recall,

Of a life which she’s unfit,

Left in solemn withdrawal.

K. Aldaya, 9/29/04

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://s1.favim.com/orig/22/girl-sad-window-Favim.com-212680.jpg

79. Foreign Intent

See a human.

Looks like all others,

Walks alike,

Your reality smothers.

See a being.

Talks as you do,

Must think,

Just like you too.

The truth is,

Your truth is a lie

I’m different.

No human being am I.

Something else,

Not you in the least.

I’m the typical,

Fabled ’bout, outlander-beast.

A derelict,

Similarity in appearance.

If inward showed you’d wish disappearance.

I’m not human,

I’m something different,

Living and thinking with foreign intent.

K. Aldaya, 9/25/04

78. Shouldn’t Be Here

alone234

Everything on this Earth tells me I shouldn’t be here.

From the day of my birth, through each and every year.

Wishing I weren’t here.

Nothing I do is right.

I think unlike the masses.

Tossed into the night as time flows and passes.

Rejection here amasses.

K. Aldaya, 9/23/04

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Eq7_IIxCWyM/TlGwfbyY_4I/AAAAAAAABLE/uT5zKHrTix4/s1600/alone.jpg