195. You Hold My Heart

You hold my hand and hold my heart,

When it fights and beats you back,

And though I feel your heart may lose,

I don’t want my heart back.

My heart is but a gray mirage,

Of one I should have known,

And can one e’er hope to possess,

Something they’ve never known?

Sometimes I feel you care too much,

This all will end wrong, so…

Why chance such a beautiful heart,

On one which may not grow?

Still, you hold my hand and hold my heart,

When it fights and beats you back,

And though I feel your heart could lose,

I don’t want my heart back!

K. Aldaya, 04/13/06

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsxqp2ZKCO1qzy3mjo1_500.jpg

189. Love, Loves Misery

How can you tear me down and then say,

“I love you, my darling”, as night turns to day.

Progressively painful vulgarities thrown,

From out your cavalierly-placed throne.

Love should not cause a heart pain as this,

Torturing ’til tears burn and dismiss,

The knowledge of love incinerated;

Then ask me to love where no love’s been created.

The tragedy’s that I care, though you kill;

Demolishing constructions at will.

Burning houses just built to stand,

Against the assault of your next reprimand.

K. Aldaya, 12/25/05

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://data.whicdn.com/images/22478399/28f273b9e0ffd544410d90c0f6ec8072_large.jpg

187. What a Fraud!

I deeply hate you for your lies,

You told me that you cared for me,

But as I know well, love dies;

If there was ever such a thing,

Beyond the ageless cries.

How can you laugh and enjoy,

The pained days given forth.

Like a vile soul envoy,

That kills the hope of more.

No I’m not some f***ing toy!

Though thrown out as a whore.

What did I do to deserve,

Being a pawn you play,

To win a better hand serve,

By use of a body:

Simply a first observe,

By one, cold and haughty.

K. Aldaya, 11/21/05

Picture: Originally from http://fuckyeahtumblraddict.tumblr.com/; Photographer Unknown; http://favim.com/image/225105/

175. Loves’ Lie

Why did you lie?

I asked you to tell truth.

I can’t take your sh**,

I can handle the truth!

You used me….and left me for sh**!

Why did you lie?

We were friends first and why,

Would you ask me to care,

Then take it, swift, back?

More lies are what my heart can’t bear.

Why did you lie?

I’ve been right all along.

Unlovable. Feel stupid,

For thinking one moment,

Love was something my soul could once bid.

K. Aldaya, 10/5/05

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://www.whatdoesitmean.com/wta3.jpg

149. Unlovable

I’ve heard of this thing called love.

I like to believe I know how it feels,

Though know of no such love,

Carried deep and pained for me,

Though I’ve been burdened long for thee.

Hast thou seen no thing called love,

Within thy heart for me?

Yes, thou has seen no such love,

Deep in me…just loveless pains,

For without love my heart vast wanes.

What tortured passion is this love,

To show forth what it be,

And then again this thing called love,

Disappears and is not felt,

Abandoning the hopeful heart in which it dwelt.

I’ve heard of this thing called love,

I like to think I know of it well,

Though know of no such love,

Carried for me, ever by thee,

Though I’ve been burdened long in hope’s of some love from thee.

K. Aldaya, 6/28/05

Picture: Photographer Unknown; Originally from Getty Images; http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/parental-rejection.jpg