255. Never Enough

I am.

I exist.

Why is this never enough?

I see.

I dream.

Why are dreams so tough…..

To hold?

To keep?

Yet so easy to create.

I dream.

You dream.

Though dreams can’t fight fate.

And still.

We hold.

Struggle to grasp with two hands.

Our souls,

So deep.

Walking the line ‘tween two lands.

Was made.

Alive.

Hoping beyond all odds.

Destroyed,

And dead.

Both am I; and my head nods.

To earth.

To dust.

My creator and my exterminator.

My love.

My hate.

My lower and my greater.

I am.

I exist.

Why is this never enough?

I hope.

I dream.

And dig in the dirt so rough.

My hands.

They bleed.

For the earth to feel me.

My soul.

It cries.

For the dreams which with dust will bury me.

I am.

I exist.

No it’s never enough for me.

No life.

No death.

I long for my dreams to be free!

K. Aldaya, 12/1/13

Picture: “Dirty Hands” by Aaron on dailypayne.com; http://dailypayne.com/dirty-hands

246. Happy Birthday Again

It’s my birthday again.

Another year older.

Another year closer….to death.

And what has been…..

Is still my life and still my fate.

Forever my story.

Forever passed by so fast…..

It feels so late!

Is it wrong I feel only death awaits?

My prime passed in sorrow?

My prime spent in a fog of survival?

Lost child of fate!

It’s my birthday again.

So I’ll smile, even though I’m sad…

So I’ll smile, even though I’m mad….

At time.

Happy Birthday again.

K. Aldaya, 7/13

Picture: by Polly Thomas Photography; http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3444/3992497669_247ca20588.jpg

224. I Fall Alone

Nobody can help me.

I’ll always be alone.

Nobody can save me,

From the nightmare of it all.

Nobody can see me,

When I cry, and scream, and call.

Nobody can hear me.

In this pit of misery I fall….

Forever fall alone.

Nobody can help me.

I’ll always be alone.

Nobody can save me,

From the darkness which encroaches.

Nobody can touch me, hold me, and need me,

As time reproaches.

Nobody can shut out what I see,

As time, in loved-ones, steals from me….

And poaches…

Every joy;

While I lie alone….Forever, fall (to the grave) alone.

K. Aldaya, 12/26/11

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BSVVQ-Qvw-M/UX5kVQC6TpI/AAAAAAAABy8/cmblY9NUAzE/s1600/Alone-girl-sadness-cute-in-forest-lonely.jpg

179. Present Realities Have a Tendency to Change

Oh, how has time flown on so fast?

We shall not know ’til our breaths’ last;

When we’ll transcend its’ confines.

Our spirits but dark shadows cast…

Just brief once-spoken lines.

We must not let our shadows fall,

Before our hearts be free to call;

Echo: “A life was lived!”, throughout,

Every sculpted corridor and hall.

So it’ll linger soft and devout,

In the constructs of existence,

We know…but soon will doubt.

K. Aldaya, 10/19/05

Picture: Originally on http://theuberblog.tumblr.com/; Photographer Unknown; http://favim.com/image/184721/

148. Clock-Struck Annihilation

Changes are constant and held with regard,

As there’s nothing to halt them or keep them imbarred.

Daily they move to the ticks and the tocks,

Movements set in motion to the bidding of clocks.

Time is a constant reminder to all,

That life is more precious with each sun and moons’ fall.

For how quickly the hands tick the hours away,

And the world’s ever made different in the death of a day.

K. Aldaya, 6/27/05

Picture: “The Passage of Time” by Jason Ticehurst; http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/the-passage-of-time-jason-ticehurst.jpg