49. The Monster

It is behind me,

I must keep running,

This thing is ever so cunning.

It chases afar,

I can’t stop to rest,

Hunting me, it’s at its’ best.

It never will stop, nor let me forget,

That I deserve it’s constant threat.

At times so near, that I can hear it,

Breathing and yearning for just one hit.

To take me down to its’ stormy lair,

A pit of utterly loathsome despair.

I must keep moving,

No stopping to hide,

It can sense where I reside.

My fear, it draws it, ever closer; closer.

Always there it will not deter.

Keep on running,

No! Don’t turn around!

Keep going ’til you lose its’ sound.

The sound that echoes,

That pains and taunts,

The minds of those it eternally haunts.

The darkness around,

It hinders my flight,

But doesn’t obstruct my pursuers’ sight.

I’m lost in darkness,

Confused and afraid….Run!..,

Through a world without any sun.

In the darkness it swiftly flies,

Glaring at me with its’ flaming eyes.

I often can hear the pounding in my ears,

Its’ heart beating, throbbing me to tears.

I must keep running!

Forever move faster!

To avoid a potential horrific disaster.

I must stay strong,

Keep moving ahead,

So I don’t end up worse than dead.

K. Aldaya, 3/21/04

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://imgs.mi9.com/uploads/scary/4348/terror-eye_1024x768_76579.jpg

47. I Do Seek

“Who was I”, you may ask,

What was hiding ‘yond the mask.

I want all to be able to see,

Me for me, when I no longer be.

That I am, and I once was,

Discover the soul for what it was.

I don’t want people to think I,

Always thought only of when I’ll die.

I tried my hardest to always see good,

Through life’s disappointments I stood.

I always tried to do the best,

Whilest my heart and mind were stressed.

I wanted to make others joyful,

Not drain their heart but keep it full.

I never wanted to ever cause,

Someone to break the happiness laws.

People may say I saw only bad,

But through all creation I saw much glad.

Don’t think I never, ever noticed,

All that’s found through natures’ mist.

The beauty of the clouds and stars;

Of all the planets, Earth through Mars.

The sight of which brought kind tears,

The vastness that goes out light-years.

The splendor of the fields and seas,

The seasons, even winter freeze.

I see it all, I am not blind,

The many times people are kind.

The many blessings handed me,

As being born where I am free.

I have lots to love I see,

Except myself, I just hate me.

This is what people should know,

I am my own great foe.

Everything can be so great,

But for myself it is too late.

I am often afraid and weak,

But never say I didn’t seek.

K. Aldaya, 3/20/04

Picture: Hubble/Galex/Spitzer Composite Image of M81; http://hubblesite.org/newscenter/archive/releases/2007/19/image/j/format/web/

41. A Person at Last

No matter how hard I try to forget,

My mind won’t let me lose this regret.

I try as I can to now move on,

But these thoughts are never gone.

I want to have it ‘straight’ in mind.

There’s nothing but to leave it behind.

Please Lord help me keep on moving,

Give my confused head some soothing.

Don’t let me keep living my past,

Help me be a person at last.

K. Aldaya, 3/7/04

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5018/5533325673_cfa59295a1_z.jpg

36. The Door

The door is open to another place,

Where you can run and veil your face.

You’re free to enter for your escape,

But it’s lined on the bottom with red tape.

Leave from here to go over there,

And the tape between worlds starts to wear.

Each time is harder to return from,

Making your glimpse of realities numb.

Run through the door to hide,

And enter an emptiness far and wide.

There’s the door if you wish to fare,

Sometimes there’s just too much to bear.

K. Aldaya, 9/21/03

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://pictures.4ever.eu/cartoons/digital-art/doors-in-the-field-154563

33. I Will Stand Alone

I will stand alone with all I’ve known,

For my life is for me,

For only my eyes to see.

I have stood alone with each cry and moan,

Trying hard to forget,

Leaving residue of regret.

I now stand alone with the creaking of each bone.

I try to speak and release, feeling wrong in wanting peace.

I will stand alone ’cause no one’s on my phone,

For I don’t know how to be free,

To express my agony.

I have stood alone with each cry and moan,

For I’m guilty for my feelings,

For feeling my heart’s in peelings.

I now stand alone with all I have known,

For my life is for me.

For me, to see, and be.

K. Aldaya, 3/30/03

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.survival2020.com/wp-content/uploads/lonely-skeleton-survivor.jpg