153. A Poem

theatre

This will not be a symphony,

No chorus will be kept,

To carry on the tragedy,

Ling’ring where you once slept…

Of condensed sadnesses once wept.

This will not be sagaciously held,

As some brilliant thought,

For many more men hath first-held,

The vision of what is sought,

Through words on pages unwrought.

This will not be a masterpiece,

For humanities’ clear comprehension.

Of what drives each minds’ uncease,

Of reverent self-discoveries: one…

With which souls share to their exaction.

K. Aldaya, 7/14/05

Picture:  “Concert Given by Cardinal De La Rochefoucauld At The Argentina Theatre in Rome” by Giovanni Paolo Pannini (1747); http://fineartamerica.com/featured/concert-given-by-cardinal-de-la-rochefoucauld-at-the-argentina-theatre-in-rome-giovanni-paolo-pannini-or-panini.html

152. The Worthy Grave

Mary_Ellen_Mark_Feet_Strapped_Down_in_Bed_1976_c1976_1858_41

You truly don’t know what the hours can bring,

The shrill stinging-winters, and fresh buds of Spring.

The seasons hastily wither on,

All entangled and used as a pawn,

In the deaths nights discernibly bring.

The graveyards are open for guests or the dead,

And isn’t that you when you sleep in your bed,

Dreaming of a consistent view,

Agreeable to aspirations in you?

Which disintegrate, with all I’ve said.

Don’t worry my plot has been worked myriad ages,

Slumbering shallow there, in ordered stages.

Tombstone reads, “Here lies the dead”,

And yes, I’m still lying here in my bed,

Citing forth head-words to pages.

You truly don’t know what the hours carry,

Floating o’er my ossuary.

I’ve bled, and bled, and bled to live;

But to ghosts, time cannot give,

Blindness to what all can see.

(So just leave your knife inside of me.)

I remember the smell of damp death and earth,

And the screaming silence of broken-birth,

Driven to solace with your purging-pain,

A blade of turmoil and chaos to the brain.

For you see?….

Your souls’ deathbed was granted as my worth.

K. Aldaya, 7/13/05

Picture:  “Feet Strapped Down in Bed” by Mary Ellen Mark: http://www.maryellenmark.com/; http://www.bulgergallery.com/dynamic/images/display/Mary_Ellen_Mark_Feet_Strapped_Down_in_Bed_1976_c1976_1858_41.jpg

151. Vital Source

Lie-to-me-lie-to-me-korean-drama-33896470-1280-720

Dear Father-eternal,

Please grant me but one wish….

So I may endure full,

Of strength and carnal-resolve;

A mounting, rushing, chestful.

I beg of you, please send,

A soul burning with loves’ desire,

Furtive intoxication to fend,

Off this wastelands’ turbid-gale.

Let passioned-love transcend.

I ask you, show mercy!

Kill me now if it can’t be,

For to live one more night lonely,

Is worse than any early death.

Lord, please hear my heavy plea.

I beseech you Lord,

With every drop of blood stirring,

Don’t leave me with but a sword,

To fend-off proved heart-loathing,

‘Lone marching to a grave onward.

Pardon me but one true love,

To prove the undertaker wrong,

Live out this lifetime through,

In decadently engaged vitalities,

Which, with time, more eloquently imbue.

K. Aldaya, 6/30/05

Picture: Lie to Me: Kang Ji Hwan and Yoon Eun Hye; http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33800000/Lie-to-me-lie-to-me-korean-drama-33896470-1280-720.jpg

150. Lasting Truth

for_a_lost_soul_by_thefoxandtheraven-d7fbgz7

Hello all you people.

How can you not see me here,

dying, dying, dying,

From emptiness of tear?

Hello all you people.

Have none of you a heart,

beating, beating, beating,

With compassionate restart?

Hello all you people.

How is it that you can’t see?

rejected, rejected, rejected,

And abandoned souls as me?

Hello all you people.

How can you be so cruel and not,

perceive, perceive, perceive,

And seek for what should be sought?

Hello all you people.

Forget all of those things you own;

debris, debris, debris,

From materialisms’ throne.

Hello all you people,

Aren’t people more important and,

eternal, eternal, eternal?

For soon life will be no more than sand.

Hello all you people.

Hear me at last when I am gone; Only…

caring, caring, caring,

Will last beyond this fading dawn.

K. Aldaya, 6/29/05

Picture:  “For A Lost Soul” by TheFoxAndTheRaven on Deviant Art; http://www.deviantart.com/art/For-A-Lost-Soul-448992691

149. Unlovable

parental-rejection

I’ve heard of this thing called love.

I like to believe I know how it feels,

Though know of no such love,

Carried deep and pained for me,

Though I’ve been burdened long for thee.

Hast thou seen no thing called love,

Within thy heart for me?

Yes, thou has seen no such love,

Deep in me…just loveless pains,

For without love my heart vast wanes.

What tortured passion is this love,

To show forth what it be,

And then again this thing called love,

Disappears and is not felt,

Abandoning the hopeful heart in which it dwelt.

I’ve heard of this thing called love,

I like to think I know of it well,

Though know of no such love,

Carried for me, ever by thee,

Though I’ve been burdened long in hope’s of some love from thee.

K. Aldaya, 6/28/05

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; Originally from Getty Images; http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/parental-rejection.jpg