322. Smile City

I walk the lonely neon streets,

Of my minds’ perceptioned-city:

Constructed experiences,

On frames of personality.

It glows here with electric-life,

And yet all is calm and silent.

The lit windows in each skyscraper,

Are on all the time to torment.

For all that keeps me company,

Are the shadows in the darkness;

They wander ’bout the city streets,

With motives one can’t quite assess.

O’ the night is never-ending,

And sanity is not welcome.

For the only ways to pass time,

Require certain levels of numb.

The cityscape gets dull and drab,

And monotony fosters art.

Splash of red here. A mural there.

Blood stains make for good tragic art;

And when life gets too tiresome,

There are always things to distract.

Just climb atop a tall building,

And jump off to make an impact!

One must always make sure to smile…

Or at least wear one anyway;

‘Cause come on, what else can you do?

Has it not always been this way?

The world is built on blood and tears,

Though as they say, “Just smile, it’s life!”

We haunt this endless night alone,

Smiling on with the help of a knife.

K. Aldaya, 10/10/15

Picture: from HD Wallpapers; http://www.hdwallpapers.im/sadness_loneliness_longing_night_city_roof_railing_lighting_a_girl_desktop-wallpaper.html

321. Fraudulency

Mess with my head,

Oh my, I try,

To not be lead,

By the facade.

Yet my, oh my,

You love to play,

The game, and blame…

Me right away,

For your own words.

You shame and maim.

Always at fault.

I cry, and die,

As a result;

And you thrive on…

My fault. My fault…

That I believe,

You care, and dare,

To wear on sleeve,

A heart that bleeds…

Despair. Despair:

Induced by trust.

You plod, and trod,

On faith, and rust,

Idols of hope.

My God! My God!

You’re such a fraud!!

K. Aldaya, 9/28/15

Picture: “Tortured Angel” by TAILSfails at Deviant Art. http://tailsfails.deviantart.com/art/Tortured-angel-254836338

320. Wash Me

Wash me in cleansing waters.

Purify my aching brain.

Rinse out all these memories,

So I can start again.

There’s not enough water on Earth,

To wash away my shame;

The only thing it’ll wash away,

Is blood shed in my name.

Wash me in cleansing waters.

I cannot stand this pain.

My skin is burning underneath,

And it’s driving me insane.

K. Aldaya, 9/18/15

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://t-ears.tumblr.com/post/25614458678

318. Privation

I don’t want it to end,

Though I know it cannot last.

I can’t stay and pretend,

That this is going to last.

I can’t hold you ’til the end.

In this moment of protection,

Holding tight against your form,

An internal interjection,

Rages on into a storm:

Imbuing sound dejection.

I can not hold you here with me.

I can not hold you down.

You weren’t meant to live for me.

I’ll only bring you down.

No love is ever free.

I long to lie against you,

For all time, just us two,

Feeling safe beside you;

Yet I know this can’t come true.

I won’t let you stay here too.

Fly out on your wings,

And I will be here waiting.

You’ve those resplendent wings,

So there’s no use debating.

You were meant for better things.

I’ll wake early each morning,

And sit beside the window,

Hoping time will one day bring…

You back here below;

In a distant Spring.

—I long for your touch again.

I long to feel your shelter.

It’s raining outside again.

As my tears run helter-skelter,

I etch them onto paper with pen.

Forgive me, I am weak.

I know it can not be;

Yet my heart continues to seek,

The comfort of your body.

Now all is dark and bleak.

Days slip by carelessly,

Forgetting mortal lives,

As I sit here dreaming endlessly,

Of former days and lives,

When you were next to me.

The hour has grown late,

And these cold hands are weary.

I know not the day or date,

Only that this night is eerie,

And tonight I meet my fate.

I leave here in this place,

In the countryside of the living,

My last words of embrace.

Some crimes find no forgiving,

But love still pleads its’ case;

And even if for one brief day,

Love is held onto,

When it is lost one day,

It still holds onto you,

Giving you reason to pray.

I didn’t want it to end there.

You were all that brought me comfort,

Though I knew I could never have lived there,

With myself, were you to avert,

Your fate for the welfare,

Of one mere fallen angel.

K. Aldaya, 9/11/15

Picture: “Roving Life” by Christine Muraton on Deviant Art; http://christine-muraton.deviantart.com/art/Roving-life-320468493

317. Cosmic Sky Seas

I long to swim in the white mists of the sky.

Dive into those wispy waves.

Soak my body in the atmosphere.

Sink deep…and high.

I long to submerge into crystalline skies.

Feel the touch of transcendence.

Floating and descending within waves,

Of buoyant sighs.

I long to immerse in empyrean heights.

Lie on back and levitate,

Upon the skin of a universe;

And drown in the sights,

Of our cosmic sky seas.

K. Aldaya, 9/05/15

Picture: http://jinqiaojs.com/sun-clouds-03s/download-sun-clouds-31r