385. Forsaken Lullaby

The shadows take our dreams away,

And nightmares have come to stay.

If I die before I wake,

Tell God, my soul, to not forsake.

Will you come and find me here,

He’s coming fast. He’s coming near.

Tell him not to steal my skin,

Leaving only bones to live within.

Find me now and chase away,

The nightmares which have come to stay.

If you leave before I wake.

I know, my soul, God will forsake.

K. Aldaya, 2/18/17

Picture: “Waverly Hills” by Shelbi Nikol. secure.flickr.com/photos/shelbinik…7824597/sizes/l/; www.lovethesepics.com/2013/10/waverl…ls-in-america/

382. Insomniac

11pm, it’s late again.

Time to close your eyes.

No moon in sight to make it light,

Darkness descends and lies.

12am, two hours past ten.

Another day is gone.

You stare at nothing, yet everything,

While deciding which side to rest on.

1am, the hour when…

Your thoughts decide to party:

Dance and drink, and overthink…

Rage and disagree.

2am, you grab a pen,

To silence the noise inside;

Write it out, reread, and doubt…

Which words you should confide.

3am, you drop the pen,

Too tired to think clearly.

There are no words that aren’t cowards,

And cowardice costs dearly.

4am, near dawn again.

The world will soon awake,

And you will stare, lost in despair,

Of the sun you will forsake.

5am, You lie and then…

Fall down deeply into sleep.

Finally at rest, yes, you sleep best,

After you ponder and weep.

K. Aldaya, 1/16/17

Picture: https://www.walldevil.com/13623-bokeh-books-empty-lights-manmade-night-notebook-pages-wind.html

378. Instant Regret

hands

I really want to trust you.

To let you in…I do.

More than anything I wish I could,

Have the faith you do.

My heart, it is in pieces,

And aches of a bitter kiss.

Yet, I’ve grown so used to the pain…

Sometimes I hardly notice;

Until someone arrives,

With their expectations,

They trust me not for I can’t do the same,

And are angered by my complications.

Trust is earned with time and care,

Both of which you will not give.

Then tell me why should I just trust you,

When you instantly regret what you give?

K. Aldaya, 12/20/16

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://now-here-this.timeout.com/2012/07/16/35-reasons-rain-is-better-than-sunshine/

377. Yin and Yang

I know you think I’m weak,

And those who “feel” are pitiful.

So I’ve often felt like a freak,

For simply being me.

Yet as I’ve grown older,

I’ve become much more aware,

That those whose hearts are colder,

Are much more pitiful.

A life lived on the path.

‘Tween pure bliss and despair,

May be a smoother path;

Though leads the soul nowhere.

Souls grow in sagacity,

Through the beauty and the pain.

Grow stronger on a rougher sea,

Or steep and winding road.

With ups and downs we learn,

What’s truly of worth.

With every dip and turn,

We learn to persevere.

Depth is seen as weakness,

And shallowness as divine.

Society praises emptiness…

As close to godliness.

Those who disagree: “Insane.”

“Their emotions are showing!”

“A symptom of a faulty brain,

Wandering on dangerous paths.”

I don’t care anymore what’s said,

I’d rather struggle and fight,

Ever braver in what lies ahead,

Then to fear being “too much”.

My soul is not a coward,

And my heart and mind fight on.

I do not fear love or discord,

They are borne in equal measure.

K. Aldaya, 12/19/16

Picture: By Mario Wibisono; https://wall.alphacoders.com/unregistered.php?id=624 https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=152076

376. Baby Piano

Reverberating cries of keys,

Fill me with their piercing refrain.

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Could I have saved you from your fate,

If I’d had a different name?

Your soul weeps out bitterly,

As my ears turn notes to tears;

So I rip away the wooden case,

And it’s flood echoes my fears.

K. Aldaya, 12/3/16

Picture: http://rebloggy.com/post/piano-memories-past-ghost-gothic-within-temptation-sharon-den-adel-alternative-m/58920725479