363. Duplicity

Said with painfully deceptive truth,

You fain warmth to perfection.

You lay your coat o’er the mud of inflection,

And savor the words in proof,

Of your humanity.

Gallantly you stand your ground,

Enticing the virtuous of heart,

To firstly step forth and depart,

Wrapping their honor around…

Your covetous finger.

Wringing your hands you step out,

Upon decency’s palpable spine,

And crush the bones of affection in line.

Expectation of reciprocity beyond doubt,

Cloaks the duplicitous heart.

K. Aldaya, 8/29/16

321. Fraudulency

tortured_angel_by_tailsfails-d47q0z6 (1)

Mess with my head,

Oh my, I try,

To not be lead,

By the facade.

Yet my, oh my,

You love to play,

The game, and blame…

Me right away,

For your own words.

You shame and maim.

Always at fault.

I cry, and die,

As a result;

And you thrive on…

My fault. My fault…

That I believe,

You care, and dare,

To wear on sleeve,

A heart that bleeds…

Despair.  Despair:

Induced by trust.

You plod, and trod,

On faith, and rust,

Idols of hope.

My God! My God!

You’re such a fraud!!

K. Aldaya, 9/28/15

Picture: “Tortured Angel” by TAILSfails at Deviant Art.  http://tailsfails.deviantart.com/art/Tortured-angel-254836338

298. Dancing in Blood

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I know you think me dense,

‘Cause of the smile on my face,

But don’t underestimate me.

Don’t ever lie to my face!

I know manipulation.

I’ve lived beyond my years.

I’ve met all kinds in my life.

Nothing’s ever what it appears.

I never believe what I hear.

I will make my own decision,

And if I find you lied to me,

There will be a division.

Our bond will be severed,

And the bloody mess of it all,

Will flow out, and that blood,

Will be made plaster for a wall.

I’ll soak the bricks in blood,

And everything reanalyze.

I’ll keep building that wall higher,

Until you give up your lies.

For I am not a fool you see,

And I’m done being a toy.

I won’t be used and manipulated,

For your amusement or your joy.

Why do so many these days,

Lie to seek out attention?

Why do they not know each lie,

Maims others by extension?

Don’t lie to me expecting pity.

I’d have cared regardless,

But now I feel nothing but anger;

For I know you’d never confess.

I loathe manipulators.

I will not stand for frauds!

Though I’ll show human decency,

No matter who defrauds.

I’d be the first to apologize,

If I ever hurt you,

So why don’t you care at all?

Is dancing in blood fun for you?

K. Aldaya, 4/3/15

Picture: from American McGee’s Alice: Madness Returns; https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/40/41/4d/40414d36cc288471614a801f6034a77c.jpg

273. Life is an Abuser

woman in depression

Life is an abuser,

And I, his unwilling victim.

Everyone tells me I’m wrong.

I should give in,

And go along.

Life is an abuser.

He hurts me all the time.

Everyone tells me to like it.

I should enjoy,

And commit.

Life is an abuser,

And I should love my abuser.

Everyone says I have to,

If I want love,

And acceptance too.

Life is an abuser,

He tells me I’m ungrateful,

And guilts me into staying,

And taking it,….

And praying.

Life is an abuser.

I sit in the corner and chant….

It’s okay….okay….okay….okay…,

But don’t believe it….

Not today.

Life is an abuser.

I tire of being his toy.

He loves to mess with my head.

It hurts so much,

I wish I were dead.

Life is an abuser,

And I, his unwilling victim.

Everyone tells me it’s okay,

But it is not…….NO…..Not today!

K. Aldaya,  6/16/14

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://www.kuramamagazine.com/images/suicidal%20girl.jpg

189. Love, Loves Misery

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How can you tear me down and then say,

“I love you, my darling”, as night turns to day.

Progressively painful vulgarities thrown,

From out your cavalierly-placed throne.

Love should not cause a heart pain as this,

Torturing ’til tears burn and dismiss,

The knowledge of love incinerated;

Then ask me to love where no love’s been created.

The tragedy’s that I care, though you kill;

Demolishing constructions at will.

Burning houses just built to stand,

Against the assault of your next reprimand.

K. Aldaya, 12/25/05

Picture:  Artist Unknown; http://data.whicdn.com/images/22478399/28f273b9e0ffd544410d90c0f6ec8072_large.jpg