318. Privation

I don’t want it to end,

Though I know it cannot last.

I can’t stay and pretend,

That this is going to last.

I can’t hold you ’til the end.

In this moment of protection,

Holding tight against your form,

An internal interjection,

Rages on into a storm:

Imbuing sound dejection.

I can not hold you here with me.

I can not hold you down.

You weren’t meant to live for me.

I’ll only bring you down.

No love is ever free.

I long to lie against you,

For all time, just us two,

Feeling safe beside you;

Yet I know this can’t come true.

I won’t let you stay here too.

Fly out on your wings,

And I will be here waiting.

You’ve those resplendent wings,

So there’s no use debating.

You were meant for better things.

I’ll wake early each morning,

And sit beside the window,

Hoping time will one day bring…

You back here below;

In a distant Spring.

—I long for your touch again.

I long to feel your shelter.

It’s raining outside again.

As my tears run helter-skelter,

I etch them onto paper with pen.

Forgive me, I am weak.

I know it can not be;

Yet my heart continues to seek,

The comfort of your body.

Now all is dark and bleak.

Days slip by carelessly,

Forgetting mortal lives,

As I sit here dreaming endlessly,

Of former days and lives,

When you were next to me.

The hour has grown late,

And these cold hands are weary.

I know not the day or date,

Only that this night is eerie,

And tonight I meet my fate.

I leave here in this place,

In the countryside of the living,

My last words of embrace.

Some crimes find no forgiving,

But love still pleads its’ case;

And even if for one brief day,

Love is held onto,

When it is lost one day,

It still holds onto you,

Giving you reason to pray.

I didn’t want it to end there.

You were all that brought me comfort,

Though I knew I could never have lived there,

With myself, were you to avert,

Your fate for the welfare,

Of one mere fallen angel.

K. Aldaya, 9/11/15

Picture: “Roving Life” by Christine Muraton on Deviant Art; http://christine-muraton.deviantart.com/art/Roving-life-320468493

316. Curl Up in the Corner, Dear

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And cover your ears in vain.

You cannot hide from the pain.

This world is made of fear.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And hide from searching hands.

Blind your eyes behind hair-strands,

And pray to disappear.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And close those teary eyes.

Most things seen and said are lies,

To lead the naive near.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

For hands were made to punish;

And skin and bones to ravish,

In treachery severe.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

For certainty’s a lie.

They will not care if you die,

Or if you persevere.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And cover your ears in vain;

For a world, it is insane,

Where sanity breeds fear.

K. Aldaya, 9/2/15

Picture: Found on youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJarvZMi0gU; http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lJarvZMi0gU/maxresdefault.jpg

306. Concrete Dreamland

The neon lights glow tonight,

Revealing concrete dreams;

As you ponder on the darkest night,

Before electric streams,

Glittered the dark with light.

Has the light brought you sight?

Are your dreams the clearer?

Or have you been blinded by light?

Which makes all wishes dearer,

Under hazy skies tonight?

Do the glistening streetlights,

Fulfill your pining heart?

And guide you home in darkest nights,

When all hopes shatter apart?

Or do they rob you of your sight?

The neon lights glow tonight,

In a concrete dreamland;

While you contemplate why nothing’s right.

When all the world’s made light, you stand,

Alone beneath a streetlight,

And quietly raise a hand.

Shading your eyes from the light,

You spot a distant star:

Dim under the veiling streetlight.

Will your wish still make it that far?

To guide you home tonight?

K. Aldaya, 5/19/15

Picture: Concept Art: “Europolis” from Dreamfall Chapters by Red Thread Games; http://www.thirteenchapters.net/

301. Haunted

I know you will not understand,

When I say he wants me dead.

You will never understand what it’s like,

For another to live in your head.

To cut into your flesh so deep,

They bleed into your blood;

So violently invade your skin,

That they form a crimson flood,

And break down all the barricades,

Built to protect the spirit.

And barge inside so loudly,

That it frightens all who hear it.

All the parts of you, they hide,

In other rooms and floors;

They hide for fear of being found:

Cowering behind locked doors.

For the intruder walks up and down,

The corridors and stairs,

With his knife scrapping the walls, he walks,

And through each keyhole glares.

If anyone gets out of place,

And tries to run or sneak.

He’ll hear, find, and punish them,

At the softest of a creak.

Some parts of you will try to fight,

Yet it always ends the same.

A blood-bath; as a mortal can’t win,

An immortal at his game.

I know you do not understand,

When I say he wants me dead.

That he hunts the halls and that he guards,

The prison in my head.

No one can escape or leave.

No one’s allowed freedom.

Some live in fear, or plan escape,

Yet most are simply numb.

Please try to understand me,

When I say I cannot tell you.

To open up those locked doors,

Is something I can’t do.

To open them I risk my life,

And all the parts of me.

He’d kill body or mind to hide,

His crimes against sanity.

Hush now. Hush and be still,

And believe what you will.

For I know, yet cannot fully say,

Why my mind is haunted still.

K. Aldaya, 4/23/15

Picture: The Haunted Mansion Corridor at Disneyland; http://www.haunt1000.com/publishImages/MyHauntedMansion~~element27.jpg

299. Star Crossed Lovers

No matter how far we reach,

Our spirits remain distant.

We long to meet…reach…and reach…

Yet our skin is resistant.

Our skin and bones detain us;

Hold us under lock and key.

On and on our sentence drones.

In death will we be set free?

Or is this a death sentence?

Life in prison. No parole;

Without recourse or defense,

Then shot dead through the keyhole?

Someday if our deaths’ pardon.

If souls traverse the cosmos.

Will we finally meet someone,

Discern and draw in so close,

That two souls may become one?

K. Aldaya, 4/7/15

Picture: By kelsey-makes-you-smile.xanga.com; http://favim.com/image/54089/