529. Providence

One day when I was a young girl I came home from school.

I walked into an empty kitchen and removed a piercing tool.

It’s hard to explain how one comes to make such a decision,

And who can truly understand without expansive inquisition.

It was not a fleeting thought; nor was it to be my last…

Thinking that if things be planned by God, then my die had long been cast.

My life could only lead to one inevitable end.

No matter what I wished could be, my life I couldn’t defend.

I waited a minute, and then another, thinking on death and life.

I stared off thinking how thin the line is, such as the blade of a knife,

Then I took a breath, closed my eyes, and lied down on my bed.

Seconds feel like hours with the knowledge that you’ll soon be dead.

I held the tool against my heart listening to the sound:

Budump. Budump. Budump. Budump.

Pound, and Pound, and Pound!

As tears washed down my face like a tidal wave of doom,

I looked away from the rising climax, to the ceiling of my room.

I bitterly cursed the light above, which had failed to shine my way,

And had left me in the darkness from my earliest remembered day.

As the tension rose within and pushed the arms to act,

A clang-clang, clang-clang, clang-clang…spurned every muscle within to contract!

The drawstring on the light above, weighted on it’s tip had swung to the glass above it,

And hit………………..and hit………………………and hit!

My breath was gone, and my thoughts replaced,

With how this could logically be the case.

How something could move so eagerly without a hand in sight.

It had never happened once before, and never again after that night.

Why I was not to die that day I may never know the reason;

Though I’ve learned from life that for everything there’s a time and a season;

And for some reason something or someone in this vast universe,

Wanted me to be here now, to write for you this verse.

To tell you that I was once there,…walking that line ‘tween life and death,

And I’m here now to tell you that there’s much more length and breadth.

Life has it’s ups and downs, and neither’s more important.

Each breath and second that is lived is what’s most significant.

In ways one can not fathom in this form of blood and bone.

Simply remember the universe is endless, you’re important, and you’re never truly alone.

K. Aldaya, 1/13/21

Picture: By Greg Rakozy on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/oMpAz-DN-9I

522. Yesterday

Hold fast to today,

For it flits and it flies,

Up on and away…

Into the vast skies,

Of yesterday.

Where all of us go,

When we leave and grieve,

In the long ago,

As writer’s weave,

And stories sew.

K. Aldaya, 8/3/20

Picture: By Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/O33IVNPb0RI

519. Midnight

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What I used to fear, I now crave.

There is no escape, but for the grave.

The bitterness,…the human plight.

I’m as tired as sleepless night.

I cannot leave,…the night’s not o’er.

I am the moon, and the Earth, the floor.

I hover on high, watch and wait,

‘Til the day time seals my fate.

I will return to dust and light;

Yet until then, I must do what’s right.

I’ve loved too much to spurn my fate.

Sing a lullaby,… it’s getting late.

Go to sleep. There’s not to fear.

And when you wake, please shed no tear.

Within the light, I am still here.

K. Aldaya, 6/17/20

Picture: By Nick Owuor on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/wDifg5xc9Z4

517. Empty Graves Without Name

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There is a tall castle,

It looks lovely from the top.

The tower is inviting,

So passersby often go up;

To see the sea of green,

And to the fae, raise bounteous cup.

However, this castle,

Is a most sprawling domain,

With levels and rooms galore;

Though no one wanders without aim,

As each window and door,

Is locked with keys of their own name.

And each key rests below,

In the haunted dungeon halls,

Where the screams of yesterdays,

Still echo through the walls themselves;

And the terrors from those days,

Remain undusted on its’ shelves.

Thence, who would travel forth,

To seek out the truths within?

When blue skies are so pleasant;

And nature moves in expansion,

Adorning the present….

Burying tales without description.

Empty graves, without name.

K. Aldaya, 5/18/20

Picture: Originally by Evan Mitchell on Flickr;
https://wallpaperscraft.com/download/mask_bw_monochrome_124766/3840×2400

516. You’re My Mountaintop (Lyrics)

Verse 1:

It’s said life is a journey,

From our first day to our last,

And that when the sun’s nowhere to be found,

The darkness will soon pass.

I don’t know if there’s an answer.

A perfect ending to it all,

But I know that life without you,

Would have meant nothing at all.

Chorus:

(‘Cause) You’re my mountaintop.

There’s nowhere left to go.

When my time on Earth is up,

I hope you’ll always know,

I had nothing left to do,

No higher place to go.

‘Cause I, already had you.

Verse 2:

I hope you will forgive me,

When it’s time to say goodbye.

Life, it keeps on moving,

Under this bright blue sky.

You were not a moment.

A fleeting thought or view.

Every day was beautiful,

That I got to spend with you.

Chorus 1x

Moments fade away, and here we stand.

Time passes us by, as you hold my hand.

I will never forget your warm embrace,

And the smile that lit the world upon your face.

Chorus 1x (Repeat last line)

K. Aldaya, 4/20/2020