56. The Freak Inside

In my mind I’m not fit to be anything that you might see.

I’ll never belong with my own and will be forever ‘lone.

sad girl sitting alone on floor

I know when people look at me they see the freak that I be.

I try to hide what I am, but I always fail their exam.

I can feel their hate and disgust, for me, whom they distrust.

K. Aldaya, 4/15/04

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://a.wattpad.net/cover/3283593-256-k508337.jpg

42. Little Girl

child hiding from dad

Hello little girl I once was,

Are you doing what a little girl does?

You aren’t like all those others,

You are a girl that hides under-covers.

Other little girls don’t do that,

Sneaking and tip-toeing ’round like a cat.

When the night-moon’s up on high,

You don’t sleep but lie and cry.

Little girls aren’t this bad,

They don’t keep their parents mad.

Little girl why is it, that you so often get a hit?

Why are you so often loud?

You know talking’s not allowed.

You can now hide in here,

In the closet hide from fear.

Little girl come out! Come out!

Can’t you hear your daddy shout.

You must leave your cave now,

And greet the thrash of bad’s endow.

Little girl I hate you so,

Why can’t you disappear and go?

You shouldn’t even breathe their air,

You don’t deserve one single hair.

Why are you so disgusting?

You’re such an awfully messed-up thing.

Little girl go hide again.

Stay there ’til I tell you when.

Close your secrets in with you,

Shut them ever in there too.

Little girl your secrets, they,

Must stay forever locked away.

Little girl you need not show,

How you’re badder than they know.

You, yourself, brought this on,

So you deserve what’s foregone.

Hello little girl I know well,

Keep your soul locked. Never tell!

secrets keep

K. Aldaya, 3/08/04

Picture 1:  Photographer Unknown; http://erebusteam.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=1240&d=1368782526

Picture 2:  Photographer Unknown; http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/sites/default/files/child.jpg

6. Human to You?

The_Outcast

I just want someone to care.

Is that so much to ask?

Please at my heart don’t tear!

Being nice is my only task.

Am I really that ugly,

That you must treat me so?

Is it so hard to stand me,

When I’m a human, like you, you know?

Why do you hate me so much?

Why is everything wrong I do?

Is coldness sent from my touch?

Why do I not seem human to you?

K. Aldaya, 3/27/03

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3JZ7Y_5XQXA/Scu5OInw2SI/AAAAAAAAABw/grgi17SVP7Y/S660/The_Outcast.jpg