187. What a Fraud!

I deeply hate you for your lies,

You told me that you cared for me,

But as I know well, love dies;

If there was ever such a thing,

Beyond the ageless cries.

How can you laugh and enjoy,

The pained days given forth.

Like a vile soul envoy,

That kills the hope of more.

No I’m not some f***ing toy!

Though thrown out as a whore.

What did I do to deserve,

Being a pawn you play,

To win a better hand serve,

By use of a body:

Simply a first observe,

By one, cold and haughty.

K. Aldaya, 11/21/05

Picture: Originally from http://fuckyeahtumblraddict.tumblr.com/; Photographer Unknown; http://favim.com/image/225105/

185. Heart Aversion

I fear that you don’t love me,

Or that you never did.

No conversations or expressions,

As your emotions are hid,

And I’m lost in transgressions.

Have not the words to tell you,

What is in my thoughts,

And unsure as to intentions,

Behind your inner thoughts;

Distracted by attentions.

There are things on your mind,

But you won’t let me in either.

So I can’t tell if you do care,

Or if not, or neither.

Can’t you put your heart out there…

‘Cause mine is already there.

Oh, don’t you even care?

K. Aldaya, 11/12/05

Picture: “A Distant Figure” by larafairie on Deviant Art; http://www.deviantart.com/art/A-distant-figure-67889481

168. Complaints Are For Those With Nothing to Complain About

Don’t complain to me ’bout your life.

You have friends and family true.

Don’t tell me you are in such strife,

When so many care for you.

I have no one but myself.

My family and friends a-few.

Each only seem to think of their self.

A life so completely not like you!

I have no one. None at all,

To give strength to grasp the wall,

So I won’t perish in this fall….

Down a hole you wouldn’t fit through.

K. Aldaya, 9/23/05

Picture: “Falling Down The Rabbit Hole” by Bradi Wells on flickr; https://www.flickr.com/photos/bradi/2797166439/

166. I Guess You Really Don’t Care

Did I hear you wrong or something?

I thought I heard you say you care?

And I would have given anything,

To hear it said again somewhere.

What has changed from last we talked?

You used to speak and share?

Now all you have done is walk,

Many times past me while I stare.

Why are you so distant now?

You used to touch my hair.

You hardly even touch me now;

Seem to forget I’m there.

You once told me you cared to know…

Everything ’bout me, made aware?

So why did you so quickly sow,

The seed of “I don’t care”?

K. Aldaya, 9/17/05

Picture: Photographer Unknown; https://lhueagleeye.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/halfwaybetweenthegutter-wordpress-com.jpg