477. Flashbacked

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Be careful, she could break with a touch.

Her skin is like glass,

And she feels too much.

Tread lightly, in following her trail.

She’s gone far away,

And her mind, it is frail.

Come quickly, or it may be too late.

Time waits for no one,

And time is our fate.

Talk softly, and don’t scare her further.

She can’t see you move,

Your face is a blur.

Be gentle… She’s meager and brittle.

Her body is old,

But her mind, it is little.

Be careful, she could break with a touch.

Her skin is like glass

And she feels too much.

K. Aldaya, 5/22/19

Picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbPVrZOLO3I

454. A-part

I float away…all day…everyday.

I drift away…never stay…never stay…

The same.

I am me…”I agree”…”I agree”…

Yet,…”I disagree…I’m not free to be me…

Fully”.

I want to do…what I want to…see it through;

But, I can not do what I want to…plans fall through…

The cracks.

I am there…everywhere…and no where.

I float in the air of time in despair…neither here nor there…

A piece.

I’m only ever part of me…one me…not every me.

I always find I disagree…with me…and me…and me…

In part.

I can not stay…this way…or that way.

I drift away…never stay…never stay…

The same.

K. Aldaya, 8/12/18

Picture: Original Source Unknown; https://www.thecounsellorscafe.co.uk/single-post/2016/12/31/What-does-your-online-presence-say-about-you

381. Dissociation

Time escapes me again…

Slips through my trembling fingers;

Rushes on into the future…

And life: it occurs.

In the void I sit…

Between life and it’s future dawn;

Where I waste precious hours,

As time ticks right on.

Time is not my friend,

And walks past me nonchalantly;

So I ever return to time in mourning,

Of the hours which have left me.

K. Aldaya, 1/13/17

Picture: http://vforum.vn/diendan/showthread.php?76477-Hinh-anh-buon-dau-kho-cua-cac-co-gai-vi-that-tinh

258. I Cannot Move

I,…I cannot move.

I peer into a little house,

A house I’ve seen before.

Am I alive? How’s it therefore?

If I do not move?

I,…I cannot move.

I cry inside, but no one hears,

Or can see, what-there hides.

In the small house of homicides.

Cannot make a move.

I,…I cannot move.

I feel that you are near to me,

Though I cannot reply.

For in that house I’m killed and die,

Never more to move.

I,…I cannot move.

I peer and see my fear and freeze…

In time,…I can’t escape,

Or my spirit run from its’ rape.

I,…I cannot move.

Shake and wake me from this nightmare.

I long to feel secure.

Oh, please hold me and reassure.

For, I cannot move.

I,…I cannot move.

Rescue me from this little house,

Cover my bloody eyes.

Tell me all those sights are just lies.

(I beg! I want to live!)

Please help me to move!

K. Aldaya, 02/03/14

Picture: from “Missing You” in ockoala’s photobucket; http://s966.photobucket.com/user/ockoala/media/Missing%20You/MY9mp4_000725491.jpg.html

236. Dissociative

What words?

Why bother?

Mean nothing.

Don’t convey…anything.

Shut down.

Close out.

Cannot feel.

Can’t express. No appeal.

Too much.

Too deep.

Bleeding out…

Silently. Life fades out.

What words?

Why bother?

Don’t exist…

Never did. Why persist?

Shut down.

Close off.

Hide inside…to exist…

to hide….and hide….alone.

No confide.

No words….,

So hide.

K. Aldaya, 04/05/13

Picture: “Dissociation” by MaxTheSpaztastick; http://www.deviantart.com/art/dissociation-56008447