261. Use Me

I will not cry because it will get me nowhere.

Yep, what a waste of time to care;

To care for myself or my feelings.

After all, no one could less care.

It’s best to pretend that everything is okay.

Keep smiling and acting that way.

No one wants to be ’round a downer,

And I don’t matter anyway.

“Just do what you’re told and make everyone happy”.

I’m sure you will nod and agree.

I’m not capable of ‘happy’, right?

It’s too late, far too late, for me.

I will not cry because it will get me nowhere.

Yep, what a waste of time to care;

Care for myself or my sorry life.

That’s right, use my life. I don’t care.

……..Wasn’t using it anyway.

K. Aldaya, 2/28/14

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://lovepicturex.blogspot.com/2012/12/alone-girl-sad-crying-broken-heart-love-cute-beauty.html

214. Scream or Shout

So many thoughts inside my head,

But how to get them out?

I wish I knew, or had one clue,

As to how to scream or shout!

All this pain locked away,

Since the dawn of time.

My skin is pain, although in vain,

I ask to know my crime.

Rock is cold and has no soul,

And feels not pain or sorrow.

How is it then, my skin feels it when,

My soul hides deep in marrow?

So many thoughts inside my head,

But how to get them out?

They hide behind, walls of stone and bind….

My tears: They scream…..they shout!

K. Aldaya, 05/23/11

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.free-hdwallpapers.com/wallpapers/abstract/173332.jpg

20. Unshed Tears

Tears, I feel them,

Yet not one does drop.

They are there,

Holding still,

Under flesh they dwell.

Resting and dragging your soul,

Down and down;

Making you feel as if you’ll drown.

Why don’t they leave?

Why can’t they fall?

Tears, I feel them,

Yet not one does fall.

They are there, holding still,

Under flesh they dwell…

If only they fell.

K. Aldaya, 9/15/02

Picture: Fear of Drowning by Starfishyy on Deviant Art; http://starfishyy.deviantart.com/art/Fear-of-Drowning-323730272

12. Rain for You

How can the patter of rain move your soul so?

And the silence of the earth turn your mind on low?

How can the sound calm your very core?

And lead you to rest at sadnesses’ flowing shore?

Yet, how can you yearn for it’s arrival, and still wish for it’s leave?

And be so needed by your soul to empty you with a heave?

K. Aldaya, 4/21/03

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://nowiknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/rain.jpeg