complicated – My Soul is a Lock Without a Key

I hate when you treat me nicely.

I hate when I start to believe.

I hate that I set myself up again,

To question reality.

I hate that you’re not a monster.

I hate that I can’t run away.

I hate that I will walk closer to you,

And put myself in danger.

I hate that life’s not black or white.

I hate that I do not hate you.

I hate that nothing is ever simple,

And that none of this feels right.

I hate that I can not trust you.

I hate that to trust is a trap.

I hate that I try, and hate that I care,

When I really don’t want to.

I hate that you don’t really care.

I hate that it’s all a mirage.

I hate that I always hate myself more,

When again you leave me there…

…in your dust.

K. Aldaya, 8/11/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/iraq-sandstorm-weather-man-80329/

Fervent suspicions line contagious, deprecating slums;

Swelling with rubbled-craftsmanship which succumbs,

To the infiltrations of vermin scums.

O’ look to the eve stars for consolations unfounded,

For with destructions you’re wholly surrounded.

Behold Elysiums’ fresh ungrounded.

Make no cares of sound cries or lamentations with a boom.

Seek to establish a constructive, safe resume,

Completing this seemingly endless exhume.

Deep queries vex and disintegrate bricks of fortitude.

Why is it wrong Lord to have and want certitude?

Walls gone: struck down before constructions intrude.

A dilapidated domicile of firm dejection…

Stars speak of myriad stores of protection;

A clear and obvious disconnection.

K. Aldaya, 3/2/05

Tag: complicated